formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Ep-i-tome of Embarrassment...

My daughter, Ryan, said something last night that made my mother’s eyes widen. It wasn’t anything shocking or inappropriate (though that certainly happens sometimes)… it was something about how horror-comedy combo movies don’t make sense to her because they’re of completely different genres. It was the word ‘genres’ that got my mom and admittedly, it does seem a rather odd word for a 9-year-old to use… though not really for Ryan. She has a massive vocabulary, which she utilizes to its full capacity, and has since she was very small. She’s not being pretentious; she just loves words, which I find very cool, as I obviously do, too. Her father uses as few as possible (and usually the same annoying ones over and over and over), so I’m glad she got that quality from me.

In addition to having a big vocabulary, Ryan tends to pronounce even big words correctly. I'd like to say she gets that from me, too, but I can still remember seeing that ‘Hey Vern, know-what-I-mean?’ commercial on TV about 17 or 18 years ago (with that idiot actor, Jim Varney)… do you remember it? He was advertising some product, which he deemed ‘The Epitome of Excellence,’ except that he pronounced ‘epitome’ the way it’s spelled and not the way it’s supposed to sound. I was dumbstruck when I realized that ‘ep-i-tome’ and ‘epit-a-mee’ were the same word! I mean, I always knew what ‘epit-a-mee’ MEANT, I just didn’t know it was spelled ‘epitome’. I guess I just skimmed over it when I read it (I probably ought to have looked it up, eh?). Anyway, that realization wasn’t one of my prouder (or more intelligent) moments and my friend Mel still goes into hysterics when she reminds me of it (which is more often than she really should, given the things I know about her).

There was ONE word Ryan mispronounced when she was small, though. And even though it wasn’t a big word, it was a BIG mispronunciation. Lordy. It happened when she was just about a year old. We were in the bookstore and since she wasn’t quite walking yet, I was carrying her. As we were browsing near the kids’ section, she spied a giant wooden cut-out of Beatrix Potter’s frog, Jeremy Fisher, hanging from the ceiling. She did the bouncy thing in my arms that really little kids do when they get really excited… and bouncing and pointing to the frog, she says (at the top of her lungs… which is still her normal mode of delivery), “Mama!! Look!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!!”

Everyone in the store turned to look at my very loud, very foul-mouthed baby. I said (red-faced and just as loudly as Ryan), “Yes, Ry, that IS a FROG. A big FROG.”

More bouncing and pointing and “FUCK!! FUCK, Mama!!! FUCK!!”

I have never, ever left a Barnes and Noble so quickly in my life.

15 comments:

Protege said...

LOL Diane, this is a wonderfully funny story, it beats the one when you walked with a TP stuck to your shoe! Ryan sounds like a very smart and great kid, I am sure she makes your days.:)

Miss Caught Up said...

That is so cute and funny! Kids... They are a riot sometimes. :)

Miss Caught Up said...

Oh, and thanks for stopping by my blog :)

Mel said...

Oh, good old epitome! But I also had a problem with epitome, so we were in the same boat there. Obviously you're better with words than I, so you should have known better which is why it's funny. Epi-tome sounds much, much funnier coming out of your mouth. But, goggles at a special time of year, yes, that does send me into hysterics.

Diane said...

Yeah, bite me. When your eyes get burned out from the fireworks, I'm just gonna laugh and laugh and laugh. Wench.

Heinous said...

LOL. I hope she's got it down now at least ;)

I'd have to disagree with her on the genre differences though. They're closely related. I won't go into my treatise here though.

Shanna said...

LOLOL!!! That is TOO funny! My son used to say dick for stick. It was GREAT (note sarcasm) because as a boy he loved sticks - so every where we went he'd shout I want a dick!...it was AWFUL.

Jane! said...

I did the exact same thing with idiot. I always wondered why I never heard anyone use the word eye-dye-it. As luck would have it, idiot was in MY very first line of the 6th grade play. Yep, I felt like one.

Stu Pidasso said...

at least it was an honest mispronunciation. Someday I'll post about how my four year old daughter taught me to curb my mouth.

The Odd Duck said...

I had a picture of this in my head and started laughing out loud. I have my own mispronunciation. I avoid saying the word breathes if at all possible. Because with my accent, it sounds like I'm saying "breasts". Cue laughter from friends and scandalized looks from strangers.

By the way, you've been tagged on my blog.

Ronda's Rants said...

It's funny how some children are very verbal and others not! I would say it was how they are raised except...my children were so different and clearly I was raising them all! My grandson is very verbal and uses words that surprise me as well..his sister is not using words!
We think because her brother uses so many she just hasn't claimed any for herself yet!
Ryan loves to read and I do think that makes a difference in her vocabulary!

Red Cup Mom said...

Hahaha. That is insanely hilarious. You sure she was saying frog? So cute. I had the same epiphany about epitome years ago too. Same for epiphany too. Weird words starting with e-p. Epoch too. Hmm. There's a pattern. That's scary!

Funny funny post! I'll be back! Esp. cuz your kid(s) are older than mine and I need future guidance.

Lawyer Mom said...

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up fast. And I read too fast -- so I thought Wayne Dyer's "Erogenous Zones" book was "Your Erroneous Zones" and that "pubic" was "public." When I finally found a hair in my armpit I was ecstatic. I ran to my mom shouting "Look, Mom, look! I've got a PUBLIC hair! I finally got a public hair!" Fortunately for her, I don't think we were in public when I made this "public" discovery.

Sam_I_am said...

yeah, epitome got me too. I don't remember when I figured it out though. :-)

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