formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Appalled and Horrified and Disgusted... Oh My!

Ryan has been eating in restaurants since she was just a baby. My ex and I used to like to eat out on the weekends and since we didn't go to fancy places, she always came with us. I have always been very strict about restaurant behavior, though. Very strict. I would never, ever allow her to disrupt other diners, so the rules were (and remain), sit in your seat and sit still, no getting up from the table at all (unless it's to use the restroom), no loud talk, no whining, no crying, etc. Basically, I have always expected her to act like a small adult during the hour or two we spend in a restaurant and I always used to come armed with books, crayons, paper, etc, to ensure good behavior. There were a couple of times when she was small (and not as in control of herself as she is now) when I had to take her outside and have a little chat in order to prompt an 'attitude adjustment.' We only had to leave a restaurant once (because we'd arrived late, had to wait for a table, and she was grumpy), when she was about two. And there was a period when she was a toddler when we simply couldn't go out at all, as she just couldn't sit still long enough for us to have a peaceful meal. But in general, I've always been able to take her anywhere and feel confident that she would behave (her behavior at home, however, can be a completely different story!).

Anyway, I don't think I realized just how seriously she takes my 'out in public' rules. And I had to laugh this afternoon when I found out.

We went to Wendy's today for our Saturday afternoon chili fix. The line was long, so while I waited, Ryan got our napkins, straws, and spoons, and found us a table. When I finally got our food and sat down, she was shaking her head, looking aggravated.

Me: What's wrong?
Ry (whispering loudly, pointing discreetly to the table behind us): Those two children.

You should note here that Ryan is not terribly tolerant of small children. She never has been. She doesn't really like babies (she never even played with baby dolls) or toddlers and when they cry, no matter where we are, she gets very aggravated and makes rude (albeit hushed) comments. I am constantly reminding her that, given the fact that she's only nine, she was actually a small child quite recently. She doesn't care. The kids at the table behind us were a girl (about 2-years-old) and a boy (about 5).

Me: What about them?
Ry (still whispering loudly): They have been climbing all over the booth, smacking each other, making burping and farting noises, getting out of their seats, and running around! And neither their mother nor their grandmother has done a thing! Their behavior is appalling!
Me (snickering): Apalling, eh?
Ry: Completely appalling. Horrifying, really. I'm disgusted.
Me: Wow. Appalled, horrified, and disgusted. That's pretty serious. Do you think you can still eat?
Ry: Very funny, Mommy.

At least I know I won't have to worry about my grandchildren misbehaving in restaurants.

43 comments:

HLiza said...

Wow..she learned very fast! LOL..wait till she sees my kids..

Sam_I_am said...

I really think you need to write a book about Ryan. She's hilariously, adorably smart.

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

lol, wow was that you all?

That may have been my family at the table behind you. :-)

I kid, I kid. We don't make bodily function noises .... yet.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Ryan is tremendously grown up for a nine year old! You deserve a parenting award, never mind for blogging! I hope you are saving all these stories for her to look back on when (and if given her not liking 'little ones')she has her own children, Diane? x

Blu said...

Marvelous, sounds like she will be keeping you in check soon.

Coachdad said...

I totally can relate... I very rarely take my girls out to eat in fear of how the behave. More than that, I don't like being an A-hole to my girls for them simply being kids. Nice post!

Diane said...

HLiza... well, you have 3... I only have one. I'm sure that makes a HUGE difference :).

Sam... I'm hoping one day I'll be able to put all these blog posts together :).

Heather... oh, Ryan's been known to fart at the table, but she DOES say 'excuse me'... usually ;)

Fhina... You must realize, I only tell you the GOOD things about Ryan. If you knew it all, believe me, you'd be taking that award back!!! She says she will never have children... I just tell her whatever she decides is fine with me. I know for sure I'll have grand-puppies, though ;)... XO

Mel said...

Me: What did baby Josh do today?

Ryan(appalled, horrified, and disgusted): He cried!

Diane said...

Blu... I fully expect that... soon :)

Coachdad... I don't think I'm an A-hole (she tells me I'm the best mommy ever :). But she gets to do an awful lot and experience an awful lot of things other kids don't BECAUSE I know she'll behave. It's a trade-off, I guess. I do believe in letting her be a kid... just not in restaurants :). And she loves to eat out, so... it all works out in the end.

Diane said...

Mel... I'd forgotten about that. And she was just TWO then!!! She's STILL that way!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Behave yourself and you'll do more. Seems a good working arrangement.

Diane said...

J Cosmo... It does work for us, certainly. She gets to travel (abroad even), she's been seeing Broadway shows since she was 3, she's been spending time in museums and galleries (some of her favorite places) since she was little, etc, etc. She can be rotten and unruly, just like any kid, but she knows if she wants to do the things she wants to do, she has to behave the way I need her to behave. And isn't that the way life works in general? It should be, anyway :)

SSP said...

I sure wish Ryan was here in NYC with me to give these idiot children (aka college seniors) that I am dealing with, who don't know their manners about public behavior from a hole in the ground.....i love ryan...if you decide to trade her in, I have dibs!

Diane said...

SSP... I've put her on the market numerous times before and I'm sure I will again ;).

blognut said...

I like that kid, and she behaves way better than The Boy. He never sits still... EVER.

By the way, are you anti-Mickey, or have you just not found the right pj's? Lol!

Shanna said...

I completely agree with you! My kids have always been expected to follows those rules as well. Not many things in life as annoying as those 'other peoples' kids'!!! It's funny that Ryan gets aggravated - my oldest rolls her eyes at those kids ;)

sherri said...

I love her!

Bring her with you when we meet!

Diane said...

blognut... that's the difference between boys and girls, I think :). Not opposed to Mickey specifically, just characters in general :)

Shanna... yeah, I totally hate not being able to enjoy a meal because other people won't make their kids behave. If you can't or won't do it, don't take them out. Bottom line.

Sherri... as long as you promise not to fill her head with Republican thoughts ;)

creative kerfuffle said...

too funny how she talked about the "childre." but awesome that she's so well behaved. mine are pretty good when we go out, but they sometimes don't understand how loud they can get when they talk. they also think they're "older" than kids.

Michelle said...

Diane are you coming to NYC meet up at the end of January??? Why don't i know this? If my toe is behaving i will be there and if your there, well it will make my night!!!!

Bring Ryan!! I promise not to fart at the table!!!! Well if i have gas then i may have to fart and deny it!!!

:O)

Diane said...

CK... yeah, we have the 'loud' issue sometimes, too :)

Michelle... NYC in January? I wish! Dunno what that's about, though. Rest assured, the next time I'm up in NY, you'll know about it!

Lee said...

You seem to have a great relationship with her! I wish I could watcher her in the restaurant!

Mama Wheaton said...

It's nice when all our hard training pays off!

Diane said...

Lee... we have fun together :). And yeah, she was pretty funny today.

Mama... once in a while we get to see the fruits of our labor... it IS nice (and often humorous!)

Jenners said...

Hi! I'm back from vacation and just got caught up on your blog! Gosh you are prolific! And I'm glad! Totally laughed at The Troll Guy -- I did the whole Match.com thing (met my husband through it so it did work for me but then I'm not in Pigsknuckle and had a broader pool to fish from) and I had some miserable dates that I now realize are so blog worthy. Like the lawyer who kept telling me about his Atkins diet and how he ate a whole roasted chicken for dinner the previous night. Like is that supposed to impress me!

And congrats on reaching out to your estranged family. At least you made the effort no matter what happens. It always feels better in the end no matter who was right and who was wrong.

And I love that your daughter can appreciate good behavior.

And I loved her image of bananas dancing ballet.

And they showed so much of the inaguration on the cruise ship -- I watched quite a bit and felt so excited. I hope he does well and can live up to all the hope that we've placed on him. And good riddance to W -- I'm so glad that man is gone.

Diane said...

Jenners... I was commenting on yours as you were on mine! So glad you're back!!

Braja said...

You see, I really am liking her more all the time. Seriously.

Henry the Dog said...

My mum would REALLY like your Ryan, and she's not a 'kid friendly' person. Mum detests badly behaved kids in restaurants. She reckons it's not fair to impose your kids bad behaviour on others. "They had them, why do I have to suffer them?" is what she often says. Good for Ryan.

theoddduckling said...

I'm picturing her saying this in my mind and having trouble breathing. My sister used to be largely the same way.

Ladybird World Mother said...

!!! Love it. So funny when your children start to Be You! We love eating out too and its so good to be able to, knowing that our children will be conscious of the other people in the restaurant. Thats what its all about, really.
Ryan sounds a hoot!

Julie said...

OMG...LOL..she's *how* old?? I think I love her!

Helene (the Artist Formerly Known as Kate) said...

hehehe I think you are right about your grandkids! What will be interesting will be her understanding how much effort and preplanning goes into having well behaved children in restaurants! =]

Protege said...

My sister should read this; she has told me that she has gotten looks on numerous occasions when eating out with her two kids when they were really small; once they even made a couple leave.;))
However, today my 4 year old niece, her daughter, is also so charming, she has all the waiters wrapped around her finger.;)

Diane said...

Braja... I bet you'd like her... when she was a baby, an old woman came up to us (in a restaurant :) and said, "That baby has a very old soul." I think she was right :)

Henry... I feel exactly the way your mum does. It's one thing if you can live with bad behavior but it's just wrong to expect other people to.

Kendall... she does inspire giggles on many occasions... frustration and aggravation on others ;)

Ladybird... I try to explain to her that to her... it's about other people, not her.

Julie... she's 9 going on 39! ;)

Helene... she says she's not having kids, so we'll see ;)

Zuz... I've actually left a restaurant because of badly behaved kids. But charming is always good :)

Jen L. said...

That is extra awesome. My husband and I made a pact when we were expecting Dean never to take him out to eat unless we were certain he would behave himself and not annoy other diners or the wait-staff. Glad to see we're not the only ones. (We fully realize, by the way, that this means we may not eat out for several years at some point!)

Sometimes Sophia said...

Very funny story. Ryan has an old soul, which you seem to have nurtured well. She must be such good company... especially to travel with. Yeah, I know she's not always wonderful, but she still sounds like a wonder.

Diane said...

Jen... we did go through that, but it only lasted about 6 months or so. The key is to go early so you don't have to wait for tables, make sure he's had a nap, and bring Cheerios and toys :)

Sophia... Ryan is wonderful to travel with. She handles time changes and location changes and long car/plane/train rides like a trooper. I started her early, though, as I knew it was something I wanted to do with her from a young age.

bernthis said...

I've been a single mom since my kid was 15 months and my rule re: her has always been: The people around us came here to eat, not listen to her and I let that be my guide.

It's amazing how early they sound so adult and how serious they are. It's hard not to laugh, which I know, pisses my kid off to no end

Ronda's Rants said...

My youngest son has never really been warm towards children...I was afraid he didn't like/want them!
His older siblings by comparison love children and my oldest is an amazing Father! But...(my Ryan) loves his neice and nephew and it is so sweet to watch them together!
Ryan is a big guy and little Katie will crawl up him like a jungle gym...but I noticed he gets embarrassed if they act out in public!
I think it's easier to have those standards with one child... There would have been a period of 5 years I wouldn't have saw the light of day if I left when one acted out. We did take the heathen out of the restaurant but myself or the Hubby stayed with the remaining civilized ones!

Heather said...

Haha. Ryan sounds awesome. I HATE it when parents just let their kids act like little mosters and don't even try to stop them. At church yesterday morning, the kid behind me was smaking the pew and making bomb noises, very LOUDLY. During the prayer! And the mama didn't do a thing! I wanted to throw a hymnal at him. Is that unChristian-like?

namaste said...

You might not even have to worry about grandchildren at this point! lol. I love that they were aggravating her. That would have gotten to me too though!

Heinous said...

It's nice to see you're passing on positive values. You should have go over and give the parents a stern talking to.

LMN said...

That is hilarious. And that kind of behaviour was permitted at a Wendy's? Imagine if you were at ... well, the Olive Garden, or Ruth's Chris, or (I'm trying to think of national chains here!) ... I wonder if Ryan would have gone and taken care of business then?!!