formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Thursday, January 15, 2009

An Exercise in Futility...

Ryan had a bad day today. She and her cousin had words. They're more like sisters than cousins and they get on each others' nerves. A lot. They each know all the buttons to push to completely irritate the other... and they push them often. And Ryan is easily irritated.

On the way home, because she brought it up, we had a chat about how she actually creates or perpetuates a lot of the problems. I try hard not to lecture her, as that does no good, but I pointed out, with examples (several examples), the ways she 1) pushes the buttons, and 2) reacts to the button pushing. We've talked about it before (and we will again, I feel certain). The talk went well and I thought maybe it was finally sinking in.

So, when I tucked her in tonight, she brought the issue up again, this time giving me "but, but" every time I reiterated my earlier points. So I made them again (but quickly this time, as The Office had started). As I finished speaking, she said,

"Why is it that I hear every word you're saying, but in my head, I'm imagining bananas doing ballet?"

Sigh.

Sometimes being a parent is an exercise in futility.

28 comments:

blognut said...

I'm howling! That sounds like something that would come out of my son's mouth! I can totally see his little brain on vacation every time I think we're having a meaningful chat.

Lee said...

Not easy.

When my kids were Ryan's age and had some issue with another kid, I would ask them "What do you think they were trying to do?"

"They were trying to get me angry!" (Or variations).

"And did they succeed?"

"Yes!!"

"So...who won?"

...

creative kerfuffle said...

imagining bananas doing ballet. wow. i guess that's better than sitting there staring at you like you've sprouted horns. i feel your pain though. the girl and boy constantly push each other's buttons. sometimes i want to push an eject button for myself instead : )

Diane said...

Lee... that is EXACTLY what I said to her!

Alyssa said...

It sounds as though she has a SPLITTING headache! MUAH HAHAHAHAH HA ha haha ha ha ha...ha...ha ha..ha..ummm... I'm sorry.

Mel said...

I know it's not the same thing as she's my niece and not my daughter, but I go through the same things with Alex. Brianna tries to get and is very good at getting a rise out of Alex. (Very good, for a 3 year old, as a matter of fact. She has Ninja skills, that one.) We go over and over and over it again with me telling her not to give Brianna the attention she's looking for because it will just get worse. We practice it. And, once out of every 20 times it might work. That's when she calls me and says, "I ignored Brianna!!!"

And, I'm familiar with the bananas doing ballet look. Try living with Sissy for 20 years!

Heather said...

Bananas doing ballet?! That's so funny!! I've had a lot of things going on in my head that weren't supposed to be there, but never dancing fruit.
You and your daughter crack me up.
And I was that girl. The one pushing buttons. I knew them ALL. For everyone. I was a dictionary of buttons. :)

hebba said...

BANANAS DOING BALLET!! I love that kid! (Maybe you should change the name of your blog?)

Heinous said...

I think someone is pushing your buttons...

Braja said...

I relate completely. Seriously. Diane, you've got yourself a button pusher and believe me nothing you say will ever, ever remove that aspect of her personality or tone it down. And her buttons will always be easily pressed. She is exactly the same as me....

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I have this image of bananas in pink tu-tus that I just can't shift...

Lee said...

Far comment. It never worked for me, either.

Live More Now (LMN) said...

Bananas doing ballet. Yes, you're right. Sigh.

I read once that no one "changes" until they feel heard or understood. Yet I don't see how discussing bananas doing ballet could possibly help this scenario, so my advice is to go eat chocolate. And skip the new black suit. :) Unless you really really want one, and you find one that fits in an AWESOME way. Then it's worth it.

The Odd Duck said...

This made me crack up. Need to remember the "bananas doing ballet" for the next time I tick someone off. Ryan has my thanks.

I have the same problem she does, well have of it. I get an obscene amount of amusement from pushing people's buttons although I usually know to stop before they get angry.

Usually.

Sometimes.

Every once in awhile.

Damnit.

Henry the Dog said...

(Henry laughing and laughing and laughing)....sorry Diane,I guess I'm not supposed to laugh. Let me get my breath....oh dear. I know parenting is serious business, that's why I feel guilty for laughing. However, in future, when mum talks to me about serious stuff or chastises me I'm going to think about ballet dancing bananas. Love it xxxxx

Protege said...

This post is so funny due to many reasons; one being that she came up with such a sentence; bananas doing ballet! Such a vivid imagination.;)
I bet life must be constantly amusing being around Ryan.;))

zingtrial said...

He!He!He! yap good one Liked reading it.Thanks for sharing

Ronda's Rants said...

I used to tell mine that in an arguement...you can only control how you respond...they perodically throw it in my face even today! :)

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Diane, you don't get the Children's programme, Bananas in Pyjamas there, do you?

If Ryan was not influenced by that, you may have the next Man Ray or Salvador Dali on your hands! Brilliant.

Shanna said...

I hear ya on The Office. One of my favs, thank you DVR ;)

Bananas doing ballet hm? Well at the very least she should get a gold star for creative mind wandering LOL

sherri said...

Hilarious!

You've become the Charlie Brown School teacher voice (the muffled mwa,mwa mwa,mwa, mwa).

What a creativly transparent child you have!

Julie said...

OMG...LOL....that just cracked me up! How did you keep a straight face???

Drama Mama said...

Bananas hahahahaha!! I luv that CHILD of yours!!! She is sooo funny! You should let her do a guest post!

But seriously....my Hannah has the SAME Love/Hate relationship with her cousin that is 6 DAYS older than her. This year...they have decided that they do NOT want to have their Birthdays together. Well..whatever. Geez. Three days ago they wanted to live together.

namaste said...

Oh my gosh... amazing! My stepson used to say things like "I like cheese" in response to me sometimes???!!! What the? You have me rolling here. Great post! And, I love that you had to make it quick because the office was coming on... a girl after my own heart! Have a great day! Oh, and thanks for the comment. Yes, the dogs need to control their bladders (if it was me, they'd have no choice)!

jill said...

i'm really starting to fall in love with your little one. she's pretty much awesome!

Michelle said...

I am officially in love with Ryan!!!

She is great kid and i know she is going to grow up to be an amazing adult!!!

I just know!!!!

Anonymous said...

We all have our escapes don't we?

Heather's M

hautepocket said...

Just be thankful she wasn't imagining NAKED bananas doing ballet. She still has some innocence.