The Internet Knows What I Need...

So, since I'm still completely idea-less for any sort of original-like post, I'm going to tell you about something I heard about from my friend Mel, who heard about it from her friend Lisa, who probably heard about it from someone I don't know.

Anyway, here's what you do... go to Google and type your name followed by the word 'needs'. After I read Mel's post about it, I did it, too ('cause I'm all sheep-like that way), and it was so damned funny (and so frighteningly accurate at points), I had to post about it.

According to the Internet, Diane (that would be me) needs...

... a pigfoot and a bottle of beer. Well, the beer would be nice...
... some reefer and some gin. Ummm... OK.
... to love herself. I know, I know, Internet. Sigh.
... a new mattress. It's true, I haven't been sleeping well.
... a fucking shower. Well, excuuuuse me!
... a good affair. That's what I've been saying for ages!
... to STOP HUMPING ME!! No need to yell... just ask nicely.
... financing. You've no idea.
... drinks and hugs. You know it, baby!
... to remember to stay sober. Well, make up your mind, will you?
... bossing. I get plenty of that from Ryan, thank you very much.
... a cheeseburger. Damn. Now I'm hungry.
... to die. Well, that is just NOT nice!
... a loan. Again, you've no idea.
... to move on. I'm working on it, Internet. I am.
... your number. Only if you're cute.
... our thoughts and prayers. Yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks.
... lots of counter space. Have I mentioned that I don't cook?
... to lose this characteristic inconsistency. I will... won't... will...
... to be more sexy and out there. One out of two ain't bad, right?
... only moist, organic, well-drained soil. Everyone needs that!
... our prayers and good vibes. More prayers? Geez.
... to be true to herself. Truer words were never spoken.
... to POST MORE STORIES! Then give me some ideas! Damn it!