formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Friday, April 24, 2009

No Gumption...

This is me today...

I'm pretty much just hangin' here... with no gumption to even think about getting down. Or do anything else. Anything at all. I'll probably just stay here for a while... it's not as uncomfortable as it looks, really. I can stay 'til I have to pee, anyway. Or 'til I have to pick Ryan up from school. Maybe I'll stop at the store on the way home and see if Food Lion has a special this week on gumption. I wonder what aisle it's in. I hope it's near the candy aisle. I want some licorice. I can't believe they don't sell the chocolate Twizzlers anymore. That sucks. Gumption is a weird word. That just dawned on me. I think it might be because all the blood's rushing to my head. Hey, stop staring at my butt. That's rude. Hmmm... I need to shave my legs. Maybe tomorrow. After I get some gumption. You know what's another weird word? Rump. Actually, most words are weird if you say them over and over to yourself. Like turtle... turtle turtle turtle turtle... see what I mean? Weird. I'm getting dizzy. Crap. I have to pee. I shouldn't have mentioned it earlier. Maybe if I think about something else. What else? SpongeBob Squarepants. He's so stupid. He nearly drowned at the beach this morning because he couldn't swim. But he lives in the ocean. How stupid is that? Pretty damned stupid. I really shouldn't let Ryan watch that show. I also shouldn't have thought of the ocean. Now I really have to pee. Crap. Guess I should get down. Sigh.

Later 'gators. Have a good weekend...

24 comments:

Tabitha in Bliss said...

Don't you just want to choke SpongeBob? I think I have enough energy for us both, so if you need a little I'll fedex it to you ASAP. :)

Happy Friday!!

Lisa said...

you could be Forrest Gumption !!! (sorry, on no sleep here !)

blognut said...

I was totally staring at your butt until you told me to stop! I was thinking it's freakin' adorable but you never mentioned that it was all fuzzy like that.

I happen to know that Food Lion keeps the gumption in the promo aisle. Let me know if don't find it because I've recently become Chief Ass-Kicker when it comes to getting you motivated and I'll be happy to pick up some gumption and hand-deliver it to you if you know what I mean. XO

Jeff Tompkins said...

Is that a picture from the balance test portion of the Kung Fu Panda training program?

That Baldy Fella said...

While you're picking up some gumption, you can also see if they stock any vim, pep or pizazz...

mo.stoneskin said...

You're a lot littler than I thought! And a bit more black and white. I've never thought of blogging from a tree with my head hanging upside down, but I expect it would give me a migraine.

Pearl said...

If you're going out for gumption, would you please pick up some Fresca, too?

Later, 'gator! (When your legs are straighter!)

Pearl

kristi said...

HMMMMMMMMMMMM I just read a blog about WAXING....maybe you could try that because your hiney is really hairy!

Hope you have a good weekend!

Ronda's Rants said...

Diane...that is too funny...
I am know I am dim but I am having trouble giving you a donation online. Is there directions? I know...I know...

Chris said...

It takes gumption for that turtle to flaunt his rump.

Weird sentence of the day.

Blu said...

Hey I didnt know you were a tree hugger.......Hold on tight!

Jane! said...

You know.... they say you should cover your problem areas in DARK colors to de-emphasize them and yet somehow the white furred ass thing just WORKS on you.

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

Have a great weekend with your kiddo! And, I hear Target has a special on gumption on aisle 4, right next to the huevos. :-)

boneman said...

well, let's see here...gumption.
That's bold, energetic initiative, the courage to act.
And you're up there showing us your rump. Would that be 'rumption'?
Bold, energetic initiative?
The bear actually has gumption, because that appears to be a gumtree.
Not that gumption comes from gumtree.
Only that a gumtree is a family of eucalyptis (smack me, would you? I use a dictionary for a mouse pad. Dang! Get it out and spell eucalyptis....WOW! I was close! EUCALYPTUS) anyway...where was I?
Oh yeah.
The eucalyptus trees are a favorite of Pandas. I think.
Dang! I should have looked that up when I had the dictionary out, but now it's back under the mouse.

You know, Pandas are extremely rare.
There was a time they were hunted because they looked so cute. (I still can't figure out what these hunters are thinking....)
Elephants are getting a raw deal, too.
And here in the states, they shoot deer day and night.
Why, just the other day I shot a deer in my pajamas.
(and what he was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know)

Not really.
First off, I don't believe in shooting critters. Unless they are a house rat and aren't near the jelly jar.
Second, I don't believe in animal prisons, either.
Evansville has one.
I saw their Rhino just sitting in brown water, blowing bubbles.
It was sad....
He looked a lot like the bear.
No gumption, all rumption.
(while I was in there, though...the dictionary, not the zoo....I checked. Evidently I've totally made up the word 'rumption'...which is sad, too.
Because a LOT of people have a lot of rumption, but, not so much gumption.

Well, Miss Diane, I do believe my job here is done.

And, even if it isn't?
Folks wish it was....

d=))

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Diane, you are gorgeous, and wicked and funny and kind - And, really, you're the only one who can control Bloggus Nuttus's worst deviations in Blogland, really you are!

So, you've got to get back your gampy, bloggy gumption, not only to keep us both in check, but also as there's now no VodkaMom for a while at least, and others are leaving Blogworld via litigation, laziness, or life, we need all the beauty you have and can spare in Blogland, to keep us on the straight and narrow, D...

Really... Pull your stockings up, and, em, 'get down...' We love you and need you! x

SSP said...

when you get the gumption, see if they have any round tuits on sale. I need a few of those and everyone here in Tucson has been sold out for months....If I can't get a round tuit sooner or later, nothing will get done around here...and I LIKE your hairy ass...makes me feel less bad about my hairy legs...and if I was hanging all my body weight over a tree limb I htink the pressure would cause my bladder to explode too!!

Debbie said...

adorable picture..adorable post!! have a great weekend!!!!!

Michelle said...

Dear Diane,
When you find gumption please send just a bit my way!

All of a sudden I lost mine!!!

dianne said...

Lovely amusing post Diane, sometimes its nice just to 'hang' and do nothing at all.
What a gorgeous photo is that you really hangin' there? Gosh its a nuisance when your'e having fun and you just have to pee.
Nah its a cute panda with a fluffy little tush and black fluffy legs, they dont need a shave.
BTW dont tell Boneman but panda's eat bamdoo, its the Aussie koalas that eat those eucalyptus leaves.♡

Protege said...

Hehe Diane, it is Saturday here now so I hope you have managed to get down.;))
Oh, you know, I have not thought about Food Lion for almost a decade! I used to buy my groceries there... How odd to think about that now...
Hope your weekend is wonderful dear friend, I always love your posts.;))
xoxo
Z

jill said...

wow....fun post and commenters all in fine form. i'm so glad that i stopped by.

have a great weekend!

hautepocket said...

How much of a waste of time is peeing, anyway? Am I right? Loathe.

Mel said...

That reads the way things sound in my head, and honestly, not too different from the way things spew out of my mouth.

I watched Spongebob all weekend. First time I ever watched it. I would crack up at something then not be able to explain it to the girls because it was a grown-up reference, so I'd just say "That Spongebob! He's so funny!"

Jenners said...

Of all the things you said, I focused on Twizzlers. I think they do still make them but they messed around with them and they don't taste right anymore.