formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Hair Today, Gone... Well... Today...

I've always had a love-hate relationship with my hair, as do many women, I suppose. When I was very young, my mother kept it cut super-short... so short, in fact, that people often thought she had three sons instead of two boys and me. I hated that. So, when I got a bit older, I grew it... and grew it... and grew it. I was a bit like Rapunzel for a while and could tuck my hair into the back of my jeans. Not that I did that often, or on purpose, but I could.

My dad loved my hair long. Lots of men like long hair, it seems. I've never really understood that. For me, quite frankly, it was a pain in the ass. My hair is incredibly thick and it never fully dried. It was stick straight when I was young, too, and it took ridiculous measures to get it to curl even a little bit (though it was pretty when it was curled, I'll admit). And if it was humid or, God forbid, raining? The curl was gone like George Bush from Washington on January 20th. It was easiest to keep in a ponytail or a (3-inch thick) braid. I even had a hairdresser tell me once that she'd never seen someone with so much hair that did so little. Nice, eh? Yeah. She didn't get a tip.

As I said, my dad loved my hair long. He threatened that if I cut it, he'd cut my college tuition... then he said he'd refuse to pay for my wedding. So about two months after I got married, I cut all my hair off, much to his chagrin. I loved it, though. For about a month. Then, try as she might, my hairdresser could never duplicate the look. And thus began my 15-year yo-yo hair game... I'd keep it short for a while... then I'd try to grow it out... then I'd hate that 'in-between' stage... then I'd cut it... then I'd try to grow it out... and so on.

Then?

Then it started to go grey.

Lovely.

Then?

Then my marriage fell apart and I decided a needed a whole new look. So I colored it back to it's original blonde (and when I say 'original', I mean 'the color it was when I was a toddler', as it had been a sweet shade of dirty dishwater for years). I grew it out past my shoulders, all one length, and finally - finally - loved it.

Then?

Then (as in now) I got tired of it again. I toyed with the idea of changing it... a little bit... drastically... something... anything... I just wanted a change. Then I met a swim mom who has the cutest haircut... a swingy little bob. Adorable. Our faces are shaped similarly, so I thought maybe I could pull it off, too. But I couldn't decide whether or not I really wanted to do it.

Then?

Then today I went to get re-blonded. While I was waiting, I was looking at a magazine and lo and behold, there was the cut! It was so cute. The woman in the magazine was my age, had my hair color and texture, and the article said the cut is flattering for all face shapes (I'm always worried that when I find a picture of a haircut in a magazine, it's actually the model's face I want and not her hair). Anyway, I decided to just suck it up and ask for the cut.

I got it. Well, sort of. It was a modified version of the cut because my hairdresser didn't want to shock me with such a drastic change. I looked like Donna Reed. I hated it. She started cutting again. Now it looks a bit more like the picture. But not exactly. Additionally, we decided to go a bit darker with my color, as I was nearly white-blonde in places because of sun and chlorine, and I needed to even out a bit. A bit darker? Turned into a lot darker.

So my hair went from long and blonde to short, dark, and though not Donna Reed-like, not exactly like the picture in the magazine or the cute swim mom either.

And?

I think I want to cry. I know it's only hair. I know it'll grow (and it'll grow fast, too). I know that in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal. I'm hoping the (drastic) new look will grow on me. Ryan said she liked it... but I think she was lying. I know my kid. My mother just said, "Oh" and wrinkled up her nose. But my mother is mean and likes Donna Reed, so I don't care what she thinks. But would it have killed her to say, "I like it" even if she didn't? Apparently it would have.

So my love-hate relationship with my hair continues. Maybe tomorrow I'll love it again...? One can hope.

31 comments:

She said...

Oh, Hon! I SOOOOO GET THIS. And I've cried A LOT over my hair in the last few days. (It's okay to cry about your hair! I totally believe it's okay!)

My gal is usually very good, but she made a MISTAKE (forgot to rinse the bleach from the foils and then mixed in the toner!). This lifted ALL of my roots to a bright orange, which she KEPT saying was golden. I was so bewildered. She, then, spent another 3 hours on it. Then I went back yesterday for 3 more hours, and I still DON'T LIKE IT. It looked better before I went in!

Ahhhh!

I bet you look darling! Can we see it, so we can love on you and let you know how adorable you are!!!

Greenfingers said...

I'll be serious Diane but there is so many hair jokes! It will 'grow on you' and for a man I do know what its like having long hair cut short! (A long time ago!) I really do feel though that a change of hairstyle, clothes etc can be a massive personal challenge and also a sign of moving on and changing ones outlook. Unlike love, jobs and loads of other things! It can return though. Besides, give it a couple of days and you will 'grow' into it! (sorry!)

Anyway, its summer and who needs long hair? If you want, just let it grow for the winter and try not to worry!

Diane said...

Oh, She, Ronald McDonald hair is never good. I'm sorry! I'm sure it looks much better now.

And no (sniff) you can't see mine. I don't even want to look at it... I don't want to show it to Blogland (sniff). Maybe in a few days when it's lightened up and I've gone back to her to have her fix it. Again (sniff).

And I know what you mean... I LOVE the girl who does my hair. LOVE her. And I can't even say SHE missed with this one. I think I missed with wanting it.

Diane said...

Greenfingers... yeah, I rolled my own eyes when I viewed my post and red 'I'm hoping my new look will grow on me' (but I DO hope that!). Thanks for the words of encouragement. As I say, it's only hair. Sniff.

f1trey said...

all i can say is.....guys have it easy! yippeey!!

mo.stoneskin said...

This is a weird time for you to post. Shocked me beyond belief. How can a man be expected to act out his day according to schedule, including time spent grooming his hair, when he cannot rely...

;op

My own (limited, coming from a guy who has gone with a number 2 for 5 years and had his first hair cut experience in 5 years a few weeks ago) experience has told me that the first few days after are always the worst.

Heather said...

Picture please...I want to see this new do! I'm sure it's not bad.
I've been in hair limbo for a few months. Last year my hair was super long, well super long for me. A few inches past my shoulders. And then in the fall? Whack. I got it cut suuuuper short. Like to the bottom of my ears. Everyone loved it. Everyone but me. Then it grew some and I dug it. But then I decided to get some length back, and it's about an inch past my shoulders. Guess what? I'm looking at pictures of me with short hair and wishing it was chopped again. Ha. We're never satisfied.
Good luck. Find a way to fix it that you love. Or at least can deal with. I'm betting that it's cute and you're just in denial. :)

Rachel Cotterill said...

How can you post this without a photo? You're depriving the blogosphere of the chance to tell you how great you look! Anyway, as you know, it'll grow out. Or you could shave your head ;)

Diane said...

Trey... Pffffttttt.

Mo... you do know a 'number 2' here is poo, right? So you've had a poo do for 5 years... which, come to think of it, pretty much describes my hair right now.

Heather and Rachel... thank you for your support but I will not be providing a photo, which would give Blogland cause to laugh and point and say, "OH MY GOD, WHAT were you thinking?!" Sniff.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Diane, it will grow quickly - You are so lucky to have thick hair too...

Could you get blonde highlights put through, so it's not so shocking for you, until you could go lighter (or as you wish) again?

I have been blonde since birth, but the recent hank of dishwater blonde that my hairdresser showed me in the mirror, prior to having my first full head of highlights, gave me the heeby-jeebies!

We have our own image of ourselves, non, even if we are told we are lovely as we are...

I think you are lovely, Diane, and your hair matters not one jot, my love xox

only a movie said...

I remember those days of wanting to cry in the chair w/ the too short, or the too intense color. (I have super long hair now - the ponytail is high style for me - sigh).

I know it will be a few days before you get a little cheerful about it.
You are smart to want the color fixed. Good luck!!

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

Diane, I am embarking on this journey this coming weekend, but the only difference is hair pisses me off. I want it short and could care less if I'm taken for a guy.

I hope you feel better about yours soon. :)

blognut said...

You know... I talked SHE off the ledge last week when her roots turned a bit orangey-golden... and I'll talk you off the ledge, too.

YOU are beautiful and I can't have you crying because it breaks my heart. Your hair may not be your favorite feature at the moment, and that's okay. It will grow on you or grow away to another style. Period. Two weeks? 'k? Just give it two weeks and you'll be all good with it. As for the color - highlights.

PLEASE, just this once, listen to me when I tell you that you're gorgeous through and through. I'm sure your hair looks great, just different. I'm SURE.

I'm even willing to overlook the Ronald McDonald hair remark you made up there in the comments. 'Cause you know I have to put up with that look everyday, right?

XOXO

Diane said...

Thanks everyone. I guess I can wear a hat for a few weeks. Except I was going out tomorrow night... with new people...

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhh...

Amy McMean said...

Think of what you would tell Ryan if this was her. You would tell her she's wonderful, pretty, smart, caring, friendly and no matter what her hair looks like that doesn't change any of those things. So don't forget you are all those things and MORE. and so is Ryan :)

Just enjoy the risk you took by trying something new.

AND SMILE!

contemporary themes said...

Yes. Blognut DID talk me down from the ledge as I gave her a play by play via text while it was happening! I love our blognut! And you, Babe, are beautiful and lovely!

kristi said...

I do this too. Now my hair is oh so blonde and past my shoulders. But I like it some days.

Comedy Goddess said...

I too feel your pain!

Last haircut I had was too layered. But I wanted it because I am growing out my color.

I think, if we are lucky, we really like our hair for about two days out of the year.

sherri said...

Hey- I walked around with STUPID HAIR all through the Relay for Life with HUNDREDS of people watching me while a "friend" would yell, "Hey Murphy- you have stupid hair!"

Is anyone yelling at you when you walk by yet? Okay then. It can't be that bad.

But I know how you feel. I've shed many a tear over my stupid hair!

Hope it grows quickly (God Speed!)and the color starts a Pigsnuckle trend! (Those people probably think it's awesome!)

Dave said...

Historically, biblically and even currently, so much is tied up in our hair, if you will excuse the phrase.

I think everybody has a strong opinion about their hair--positive or negative. But I agree, post a picture and we'll be the judge.

lakeviewer said...

Hair Raising! I came in from Fhina, and I'm still in a playful mood.

Sorry about your hair. Try a wig, it might alleviate your mood.

Michelle said...

Yeah...sigh

18 monhs ago I chopped off my almost waist length mermaid hair...I like it now bit its just not the same...

xx

That Baldy Fella said...

What is this "hair" of which you speak?

Protege said...

Loved this post as I recognize EVERYTHING in it. I have been to the hairdresser 3x in my entire life and I ALWAYS cried after coming home.

Your long hair must have been gorgeous. You are like my mom; she has similar hair to yours and she also kept it long when young (on request of her father), who said she can only cut it if she has very good grades in the end of the school year. She says that she left the report of the (top) grades on the kitchen table for her father to see and immediately went to the hairdresser and got it cut short.;))

And finally, please do not despair, it will grow out and the colour will fade. I think you might look better than you think.;)))
xo

lisa said...

Hair is so personal, isn't it. I always had a boy cut but recently (and I mean it took 1 yr)to grow it to all one length. Not loving it because it grows out and not down and it feels hot & heavy. But, I worked too hard to get it to this point.

I'm sure I'll go back to short w/in 6 months. Post a pic if you have one.

Sometimes Sophia said...

I feel your pain... Fated for bad haircuts? Join the club. It is a very rare stylist who remembers and/or can duplicate a good cut. (That is unless you're willing to spend a couple hundred $$.) Hey, at least you don't look like Prince Valiant - ahem... I made the stylist recut that aberration - although Donna Reed comes close. Ever look like Opie ????? :(

dianne said...

I know exactly how you feel, it might only be hair but its our 'crowning glory' and it is important to be happy with the cut and colour.
Believe me I have had some disasters, tried out styles that didnt work, couldnt wait for my hair to grow longer, green hair from a mistake a haidresser made mixing up a colour, boy was that a mess and hard to correct, home colours that went too dark or too light.
If you get a style you like and a colour dont mess with it, leave it alone...that works fo me. :-) ♡

C Woods said...

I can't tell you how often my hair has been butchered. I tell rhe person what I want, I show photos, i have even measured my hair to tell them exactly how long I want it on top, on the sides, etc. and I always end up with 1 to 3 inches shorter than I requested.

Then, miracle of miracles, I find someone who cuts it exactly as I want, and then when I call to make an appointment and request Michelle again, she is no longer working there and they won't tell me where she works now..

Grrr. Yes, I have cried over my hair.

Finally, I bought a wig and I use it on bad hair days. I chose something close to my hair color and in the style I want it to be cut. I use it when I have to unexpectedly go somewhere other than just grocery shopping and haven't the time to mess with my hair or to cover bad hair cuts. The only problem is that it is hot in the summer ---but nice and warm in the other seasons.

Ronda's Rants said...

I feel your pain...but I bet it looks cute on you!
My hair and I have a love/hate relationship too!
However, my old stylist...I just hated. :)
I just read a really good book
The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein...I think you would love it!

hautepocket said...

Having a haircut that you less than love is never a good feeling. I've had several bad ones and sometimes I have actually hated them less after a few days. Here's hoping the same for you. :)

Jenners said...

Be a good blogger and share photos please ... we cannot judge by words alone!