formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Weekend Update... Flashback... Whatever...

Howdy bloggy people! I'm just back from the park with Sundance... we had a very long, very drippy walk. I love walking in the rain! Oh, and I discovered that if I wear a baseball cap, it eliminates the need for little windshield wipers for my glasses! Too bad it took me 35 years and hundreds of Monet-inspired, watercolor-y walks to figure it out. Yeah, I'm quick.

I hope those of you in the US of A enjoyed your 4th of July! Ours was nice... we had a neighborhood cook-out, which was fun (no politics were discussed!), followed by marshmallows toasted around the firepit. Then we watched the Pigsnuckle fireworks from the front lawn and our neighbor shot off a few of his own, too, which the kids loved. It didn't start to rain until the festivities were just winding down, so all in all, a great day!

OK, so what else has been going on since my last post? Let's see...

Well, my hair and I have reconciled. Sort of. We've called a relatively amicable truce, anyway. I still don't like it but others seem to (or they're lying through their teeth... which is entirely possible because really, how many people are going to say, "Oh Diane, your hair looks like shit!"? Am I right?). Anyway, I can live with it for a while so I've stopped bitching about it. Mostly. OK, now I've stopped.

I went out on Thursday night with that social networking club I told you about. It was fun. We went to 'salsa night' at a little club downtown. I was hoping they meant chips and salsa... but no. You know I don't dance, right? Well, I discovered that an awful lot other of people in Pigsknuckle don't dance either. Lordy. My Mussolini heel was acting up pretty badly, though, so I sat and watched (and by 'watched', I mean 'drank beer and laughed at everyone'). But it was fun and I met a couple of nice people. One of the swim dads, who is also in my man-book club, was there, too, so I didn't feel like I was walking into an intimidating social situation all by myself. I do well once I'm in it, but actually forcing myself to do something like that alone is really, really hard for me. Seeing a familiar face made it a lot easier.

Oh, this was good... We have a small grocery store just on the outskirts of our neighborhood and they let various church and school organizations raise money by selling hotdogs out front, in this little shed they had built. It's nice, really, as every week a different organization signs up to man the shed and they get to keep all the proceeds from the sale of the (very cheap) hot dogs and drinks. Ryan likes to walk down there with her friends every now and then and get a dog for lunch. So, yesterday I had to go to the store for ice. Ryan came with me, and, as it was lunchtime, she asked if she could get a hot dog. We waited in line and when the woman at the counter was giving Ryan her food, she asked if she was from New York. I didn't understand why she would ask such a (seemingly) random question, and neither did Ryan, so I said, "Sorry?" She looked at Ryan and said, "Oh, there are a couple of churches in town sponsoring a bunch of kids from New York this week, so I thought you might be one of them." I just looked at her for a minute and said, "No. She's mine and she lives here."

Grrrrr.

This is the 5th or 6th time now since Ryan was a baby that someone has assumed she was either adopted or not mine. Even though there are loads of brown-skinned kids running all over Pigsknuckle, I guess this woman is used to seeing them with brown-skinned mothers. Because I'm Casper-the-Ghost white, she made the assumption that Ryan didn't belong to me and was, in fact, a 'fresh-air' kid from the Bronx.

The first time it happened, Ryan was an infant. It was summer then, too, so she was all brown like she is now, and this woman came up to us in the grocery store. She said, "Oh, your baby is just beautiful! Where did you get her?" I didn't understand what she meant. Seeing my completely confused look, she realized what she'd done and apologized for assuming Ryan was adopted. Several months later, when we were out with my friend Rae, who is half-Japanese, a waiter assumed Ryan was Rae's baby and not mine. It's happened several other times since.

I don't mind if someone asks her ethnicity. I really don't. But I seriously hate it when people assume she's not my kid. But, there are worse things, I guess. She doesn't seem to care and all that really matters to me is how she feels about it.

So... that's about it, I think. Hope you've all had a wonderful weekend!!!

15 comments:

lizspin said...

Perhaps she thought you looked too young to have a daughter that age????

I'm trying here. . .

Debbie said...

well..at least Ryan is not the one pretending shes adopted!!:) mine would probably try that!! good for you for the singles group!(social grouP) that sounds like a lot of fun!!!

sherri said...

Your hair color probably threw them! ;)!


I think I've told you this before, but our first two boys are of a smaller frame like their Dad Big Al (Don't ask why I call him "Big" Al...well, now you've probably figured it out-but that's okay).
Youngest has always been very large for his age while growing up, and is of a larger frame-with a gorgeous bod-I might add!. He excelled in all sports, and anyone at the sporting events who didn't know us would always make comments like, "WHO does HE take after?" Big AL always felt like they were implying that HE wasn't the father, nor could he be the father of this fine speciman of a man in the making.
It would also happen when we would take him out and someone would ask, "How old is your son?" "He's just two." (He looked all of five and the people would stare at me- I weighed about a buck o5 at the time, and Big AL was about 140.) Then they'd look at Big Al, then back at me and I felt like they were thinking I had been cheatin'!

So I know somewhat what you mean. I don't think people mean to be rude- they're just nosy! And not real bright!

Diane said...

Sherri... now I can't call him "Big Al"... I'll feel all dirty ;)

lisa said...

I'm exhausted after all that. Glad you had fun!

only a movie said...

People are weird, (for the question about your daughter...)

Glad you had a great fourth. ;-)

sherri said...

You realize he's gonna' kill me now! Oh well, I see no shame in it! It's not like I'm callin' him "little Al"...now that would be embarrasing! And sad.

Okay, I'm taking my big mouth and leaving now before I get in bigger trouble.

Maithri said...

Here to give you a huge hug and say I'm back baby!

Back to read about your hilarious adventures...

As far as that comment about your daughter - I'm just glad that you were there to open that persons mind a little - There are some incredibly closed ones out there!

Lots of love,

And heres that hug again! ;)

M

Protege said...

Glad you had a nice 4th Diane.;)) I do miss the fireworks, here we have to wait until New Years to see some.;)
How odd and rude for people to assume that about Ryan. I have no idea how people can go about asking such personal questions anyway.
Hope your Monday is good.;))

dianne said...

Pleased to hear you are partly reonciled with your hair...my hairdresser starts back from maternity leave this week...Hooray!!

Good too that your social networking night went well, its very difficult to turn up at these nights when you dont know anyone...it will be easier next time. :-)

As for the lady on the hot dog stand don't let it bother you, people are ignorant, nosy and have closed minds. ♡

mo.stoneskin said...

"if I wear a baseball cap, it eliminates the need for little windshield wipers for my glasses"

My gosh. THE answer.

Heather said...

Glad you had fun with your group. I'm not a dancer either. Chips and salsa are much more my thing. But the beer and laughing sounds good. I'm a pro at that!

And I can't help but giggle at the comment, "Where'd you get her?" I know it's not funny, but the sheer stupidity of the woman makes me laugh a little. You should've said, "Oh, I just picked her up at WalMart. Yeah, brown babies are on sell this week." Moron.

Don't let em bring ya down. Ryan is beautiful and so are you. It should be obvious that you're her mother. :)

blognut said...

So... if this was Sherri's blog, she'd have to be in the naughty chair now, right?

I'm glad you had a great weekend, my friend. That's awesome.

As for your lovely, brownish daughter? She's gorgeous and all photo evidence suggests that she looks like you except for the skin and hair color. Too many people just don't think.

Have a lovely Monday. :)

Mel said...

I think I still have the e-mail I sent you after that incident at the grocery store if you need to see it again.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I think it's just like our sis' Bloggus says, some people just don't think... I was at the hairdresser's the other day, and I like to think I am right on in terms of valuing difference and diversity, and I made some innocent comment to my two young women hairdressers about an older woman at work having problems in her marriage to a Turkish man, (who's desperate to leave his country, which is why he married her, but she is blind to it, despite the fact that someone else has seen him with other women...), - One was helping the other with my full head of highlights (first ever!) to hide the grey, and I found out that Suzanne's grandmother came from India, and Aisha's father is in fact also Turkish...

I was horrified at making such a mistake, but we do make wrong assumptions, but they don't always come from a 'bad place...' Does that make sense, Diane, for I rarely do these days?!

Ryan is so your daughter, with her lovely looks tho'! xox