formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Do What You Love... Love What You Do...

If you've been following this blog for any time, you know I was really struggling a while ago to get myself out of a rut. I felt like I was standing still. I wasn't miserable... but I wasn't happy either. My work, though it allows me to use some of my talents, is, on the whole, not terribly fulfilling. The problem, however, has been that I haven't been able to figure out exactly what sort of work would feed my soul. I was searching for one big job that would allow me to marry all my skills, talents, and passions. I just knew that when I found it, I'd be happy; I'd actually want to go to work; I'd be fulfilled. Finally.

Right.

Wishful thinking.

I did start to feel as though I was on the verge of a major breakthrough for a while... like I was so close to figuring it all out. But you know that feeling you get when the word you've been trying to think of is on the tip of your tongue but it just won't come?

Yeah. That's how I felt.

So I stopped worrying about it. I decided that I needed to just do something... anything... that would bring me out of my self-absorbed stupor. So I started fund-raising and training for the Booby Walk. I spent every summer evening at the pool with my little sinkers. I started Weight Watchers so I could focus on my health. I did things instead of just thinking about doing them.

And you know what? It worked!

I got out of my rut... and I didn't just climb out of it... I leaped out! I found myself not focusing so much on what was missing in my life - on what I wanted - and I started seeing what I had to give. And I realized, while doing instead of thinking, that I wasn't going to find one job that suited me. My skills and talents and passions are diverse. And that's a good thing!

Working with the kids in the pool every week gives me great joy. And our GoGirlGo! running group has started with a bang! Ironwoman and I are enjoying it immensely. The group of 5th-grade girls we have the privilege of mentoring is amazing... they cover every ethnicity and socio-economic class... they are gorgeous and smart and strong... and we're helping them to be even more so. What we're doing is good... and it's important... and it's humbling... and it definitely feeds my soul.

The Breast Cancer Walk affected me to an unquantifiable degree. It gave me the opportunity to become a part of something so much bigger than myself. And I needed that. I need that still. Next year I'm walking in DC again with Ironwoman and I've talked to my sister-in-law and a friend, both nurses, about volunteering on the medical team. I'm also walking in Chicago with my beloved Blognut and She, both of whom I only know through blogging, but both of whom have become like my sisters. My soul is filling up rapidly.

My Weight Watchers adventure has been just remarkable. I look forward to every meeting and I'm making the most wonderful friends. I've decided that once I hit my goal, which should be in a few months, I want to work for them... I want to be the person who leads the meetings and helps other people reach their goals. I am certain my soul will reach capacity.

And today I had a meeting with one of the directors at our city rec center. I'm going to get the opportunity this winter to facilitate the creativity / writing classes I told you about a while ago! I'm going to do one for kids, centered around developing a super hero character and story; one for seniors, to help them to write their life stories; and two for adults, based loosely on The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, to help them find their creative voices, the way I was helped, eight years ago, when I so desperately needed it. I'm guessing my soul will simply overflow.

So, as I said, I didn't wind up finding one job to sustain me. I found five. Will they make me rich? Nope. But I never wanted to be rich. I only wanted to be happy... to enjoy the journey.

And you know what?

I am!

XOXO

25 comments:

justsomethoughts... said...

first?!

now i'll have to go and actually read the post...

justsomethoughts... said...

you sound very full.
good for you.
wishing you continued fullfillment.
more light and more light.

blognut said...

I think when you find peace with yourself, happiness finds you.

Love you!

hebba said...

I always find your blog so inspiring...and today more so than ever. Keep up the goodness there; I'm inspired to do some goodness here!

Michelle said...

Goosebumps....good for you!

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm glad, I really am. Not that I'm a fan of walking, I'm more of a sitter...

...but you and I are probably quite similar, by the sound of your rut, why you were in it and how you came out of it.

Protege said...

Diane, sounds like you are very content and happy the way your life is going right now; that must be an incredible satisfaction.
I know what you mean; sometimes if we think to much about something, we miss out on life, as thinking prevent us from action.
The best in life usually comes to us without too much of our intervention.
Enjoy your newfound "joie de vivre".;)
xoxo

Pauline said...

in the words of an old favorite song you are - "filling up and spilling over, it's an endless waterfall..."

You've proved what many spiritual advisers advise - do something for others and you do for yourself as well. Good for you!

Shanna said...

What a great post, Diane. I'm so happy that you're filling up one step at a time in such a healthy productive way! I'm excited for you that you're doing another DC walk - that will be a huge event to look forward to all year!

Andy said...

All we can ask of life is that we have moments where everything comes together and we find fulfilling work to do, whether career or relationship wise. Looks like you've found that in a lot of ways, so bravo.

Annie K said...

Everybody should have a passion and I'm glad you found yours!

Anonymous said...

Always heard that we work to live, not live to work. Like you, I find that if I spend a third of my day doing something I want to enjoy it a bit.

Amy McMean said...

Oh my gosh this is awesome. The writing groups sound like a lot of fun. Am I to old for the kid group? or to young for the senior group?

I wanted to tell you I started weight watchers with my mom last week. I did it when i was in college but 5 years later I've forgot most of it. I'm happy to report that when i went last night i was down 4.4 lbs. :)

tryn2bgreen said...

WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL! My eyes are tearing up from reading this post. I'm overcome with a feeling of joy for you and your finding so many wonderful, giving ways to share yourself with others and make a difference in their lives.
BTW, weight watchers was the first (HEALTHY) program to work for me. LOVE THEM!
Good work and keep sharing!

Jane! said...

You are a lucky lady!

Mel said...

I'm with you empty or full, but you're more fun to be around when you're full. Well, except when you're full of bs, then you're no fun at all. Well, that's all the time, so forget I said anything. Anyway, I already told you what I thought, so...yeah.

Debbie said...

what an inspiring post! good for you!!!

reinventingsandyb said...

Sometimes I stumble on a blog that says just what I was thinking. Better yet, sometimes I stumble on one that says exactly what I needed to hear. Today, you were it. Thank you.

Boobs rock.

-sandyb

Greenfingers said...

Diane, after reading you for so long, it makes me genuinely happy to know that your feeling good...both inside and out!

Summer said...

Girl, you rock it. You soooo rock it.

Inspiring and amazing.

Muah!

Michelle said...

Very awesome Ms. Diane!!!! I miss you a lot!

Jenners said...

My heart is so happy for you! I'm filled with joy for you finding all these different aspects of yourself to feed and nurture. You sound like a new woman -- and that woman sounds (dare I say it?) happy!

sherri said...

Diane- you are much like me. I will never be rich but my life has truly been enriched by volunteering in different capacities.

This little things I do (some of which no one knows about), are the most rewarding "jobs" I have.

It is what we are here to do.
Pay it back- pay it forward- but it's the kind of giving that never leaves you empty.

She said...

Whoot! I love this post!

I love you even more than I love this post, but I do really love this post because I hear your joy and your victories and your hope! Like I keep saying, "You inspire me!"

Sometimes Sophia said...

Excellent! You sound so happy and full. I do think happiness is magnetic. Just keep sending out all those wonderful, positive vibes, and the people you need will come to you. Enjoying the journey... that's what it's all about, isn't it?