formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

What the World Needs Now...

Growing up, I rarely heard the words, 'I love you.' My family, immediate and extended, simply didn't say it. I don't know why... it was the way we were raised, I guess -- Old Country. I can probably count on one hand the number of times my mother said it to me. My dad said it even less. I didn't doubt they loved me, mind you... we simply didn't say the words. Attempting it felt awkward... uncomfortable... forced.

Then we got a puppy. A fuzzy black spaniel mix who oozed joy and devotion and unconditional love. And those three words started rolling off my tongue pretty easily.

And it was the start of something beautiful.

Eventually, I was able to say it to my friends... then to a very select few men in my life (never more than one at a time, however!). Over time, it became so easy and normal to say it that once, when talking on the phone to a client who had the same name as my then-husband, I ended our conversation with, "I love you." There was dead silence for a few seconds and then my mortified verbal stumbling around in an attempt to explain why I'd just declared my love to someone whose resume I was writing. Thankfully, he had a good sense of humor and pronounced my customer service 'top-notch!'

Now, at this time in my life, I say the words 'I love you' a lot. I say them several times every day to my daughter, my dog, and at least a couple of my friends.

Someone told me once that saying those words often cheapens them.

Saying the words 'I love you' often...

... cheapens them.

Can you imagine? Can anyone ever hear them too often? Any child? Any friend? Any lover or spouse? Any person who feels unloved or unwanted?

Now, I understand if they're said without feeling or simply to appease a need or desire when they aren't truly meant. Saying anything that requires conviction and belief when you don't feel it alters the meaning of the words, certainly.

But I never say them that way.

When I say 'I love you,' I mean it.

When I fall in love, I mean it.

And I fall in love all the time...

... not romantically, as that has happened very rarely in my life.

But I fall in love all the time with peoples' spirits... with their souls... with their senses of humor... with the mischievous gleams in their eyes... with their beautiful smiles and silly laughs... with their compassion and kindness... their intelligence... their passion and conviction... their generosity... their humanity... their creativity... their humbleness... their determination to rise above the obstacles and the hurt we all must face... with their ability to dance when they want to limp away in pain... with their energy and enthusiasm and zest for Life.

I fall in love with the love they exude and express outwardly -- to the world and the people in it.

And being in love? Like that? Makes me happy.

And the world needs more in-love, happy people.

Lots more.


I figure it's why we're here.

If you can think of a better reason? Let me know, OK?


dianne said...

A wonderful post dear Diane, saying 'I love you', when it is said sincerely is never too much.
How wonderful to be loved,to show affection, it is never wasted, I say it to my children often, my close friends and my cats.
xoxoxo ♡

Pauline said...

Been catching up on your posts - this one and the last one have such good advice in them, and such pointed observations. I agree, we don't know the half of what our children learn from us when neither of us is paying attention!

kop_op said...

Why should we try to find a better reason to be here? Love you, Diane! Love your ramblings too!


Sam_I_am said...

Every conversation with my best friend from college ends with "I love you." I know that she loves me and I love her, but now that she's living in England, it helps to know, that no matter what, she'll never forget that I love her.

Amy McMean said...

Reading your blog always makes me want to be better.... your words just make me think. its refreshing.

My brother and I talk rarely on the phone and almost every time he ends it with 'I love you...ahhh I forgot you aren't my wife...well I love you too sis'. Which just makes me laugh.

There are few people who get I LOVE YOU's from me but those few people mean the world to me.

injaynesworld said...

Yet another post that makes me happy you've returned. I love it! :)

SSP said...

i LOVE this :-) and saying it often does not cheapen it, it GROWS it...we all need to hear it, honestly, more, not less!

C Woods said...

I came from a family that said it often. My husband did not. He says it now, but I can tell he is still uncomfortable with it. Luckily, I can live with that.

Is he uncomfortable with himself, afraid to give too much of himself, afraid of his own feelings, afraid to appear weak?

But when he says he loves me, I give him a hug and tell him once more that I love him as if he has just given me a great gift.

I love your posts, too, Diane.