Looking Forward to Beautiful

When I write longer pieces, I edit as I go. This is not a great practice, though it's one I don't seem to be able to move away from. I spend a lot of time (a lot of time) going back over what's already been written... re-reading, tweaking, changing, "perfecting" (as if)... fixing.

Sometimes I even fix what isn't broken.

I spend so much time doing this, in fact, that I wind up not moving forward. I get stuck, especially if I can't make a part of the story work out the way I want it to work out... like, if a character is being stubborn or I'm missing a bit of research or I can't find a good segue.

It's frustrating. It's also fruitless. It's definitely counter-productive. And it's resulted in a slew of unfinished pieces, several of which might just have the potential to be actual published pieces of writing.

I've realized that I do this in my life, too. I spend a lot time (a lot of time) looking back -- re-reading previous chapters, as it were. I think about how I could have done something better or said something different; how I should have seen the other shoe coming straight for my head; how I should have trusted my gut... or shouldn't have trusted someone... or confided in someone... or fallen for someone.

Gah.

A dear bloggy friend read my last post and told me to try not to over-think everything.

That's sort of like asking the sun not to rise.

It's in my nature to over-think, I think.

See?

It takes me a long time to make decisions. And even after I've made them, I second-guess myself. And if the decision turns out to be a bad one? Whoa, Nelly. I'm in for it.

I don't want to be this way. I really don't.

I made a new Facebook friend recently. She's the real-life friend of a few other people I know and, as such, I could see many of her posts (which I loved reading). She seemed like someone I'd just like to know, so I sent her a friend request. And she? Is kind of amazing. She's much younger than I am and she's on a long-term quest to become her very best, most authentic self. And it seems to me that she's succeeding. Recently she posted that about year or so ago, she woke up one morning, simply tired of her life. She was overweight, depressed, and on several medications she felt were harming more than helping. So she just decided she was finished with that life and was ready to start another. And she did. She's lost more than 100 pounds, takes no medication, runs every day, and now has this incredible (and contagious) zest for Life. People adore her. She's clearly inspired... and inspiring.

Can you imagine waking up one morning and simply making the decision, in a moment, to become a new person?

It's what she did. 

And I have to wonder, can I do it, too? 

Can I wake up tomorrow and just think, I'm tired of this life I've been living; I'm tired of re-reading chapters; I'm tired of looking backward and wishing for things that are lost... or never were and never will be; I'm ready to be a new person... 

Can I just do that? 

Can I take the good things about me and my life forward, and make them better?

Can I leave the crap behind and just not worry about it anymore? 

Can I, for once, simply not over-think it and just do it? 

Seems like it might be worth the effort, doesn't it?

Sounds like a beautiful Life.

I'll keep you posted. You know I will...