I Like Blue... But...

Man, I have really been struggling lately. I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm struggling to keep a positive attitude. I'm struggling to feel happy.

Ryan once told me that the little round sad girl in that Pixar film, Inside Out, reminded her of me.

"She's you, if you were blue."  

I didn't want to, but I totally saw it. And right now? I resemble her more than I care to admit.

I'm blue. 

And it's making me so tired.

Part of it is personal junk I just have to deal with, part of it is the weather (I'm cold all the time and so ready for spring), and part of it - a big part of it - is all the negativity floating around right now, especially online. I expect the air will only get thicker, as we're in an election year, and it's proving to be an ugly one. I thought the last presidential election was bad but this one promises to (continue to) be horrible. Not only are the parties at war, there are mini wars going on within the parties.

It's too much. 

And it's making me so tired.

And it's not just politics. It seems that everyone is walking around so offended. By everything. And if they're not offended, they're annoyed. Or they're angry. And angry, annoyed, offended people can be mean. Really mean.

It's too much. 

And it's making me so tired.

I've toyed (a lot) with the idea of just bailing out of social media altogether... just giving up. And though I haven't ruled it out completely, the truth is, I gain a lot from my online interactions. I love my peeps. So, for now, I'm continuing to whittle down my exposure to the negativity. I've stopped following most news sites. It's helping. I've stopped following people who consistently post things that are contrary to my personal views (not because they're contrary, but because they're often factually wrong or they're simply mean-spirited opinions). It's helping. I've stopped following sites that post things that make my heart hurt (like animal abuse stories). It's helping. And I'll keep doing all of that.

As for me, myself, and I, we're making a vow... 

I saw this a while ago and I thought, what a wonderful a concept - to put into the world positive vibes by talking about everything you love, instead of inviting conflict and ugliness by talking about the things you despise. The idea wormed its way into my psyche and ever since, I've seen a shift in myself and what I'm putting out into the world.

But the shift hasn't been big enough.

As always, I have work to do. 

So, from this point forward, I'm making a concentrated effort to leave the bashing, the complaining, the whining, the butt-hurt, the vitriol, and even the passive-aggressive jabs to anyone who feels it necessary to spit it out, in-person or online. 

I will, from this point forward, only promote what I love. I will no longer bash what I despise.

And I hope (I hope!) to be a better, happier (not quite so blue, much less tired), healthier person for it.