formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

I Like Blue... But...

Man, I have really been struggling lately. I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm struggling to keep a positive attitude. I'm struggling to feel happy.

Ryan once told me that the little round sad girl in that Pixar film, Inside Out, reminded her of me.

"She's you, if you were blue."  

I didn't want to, but I totally saw it. And right now? I resemble her more than I care to admit.

I'm blue. 

And it's making me so tired.

Part of it is personal junk I just have to deal with, part of it is the weather (I'm cold all the time and so ready for spring), and part of it - a big part of it - is all the negativity floating around right now, especially online. I expect the air will only get thicker, as we're in an election year, and it's proving to be an ugly one. I thought the last presidential election was bad but this one promises to (continue to) be horrible. Not only are the parties at war, there are mini wars going on within the parties.

It's too much. 

And it's making me so tired.

And it's not just politics. It seems that everyone is walking around so offended. By everything. And if they're not offended, they're annoyed. Or they're angry. And angry, annoyed, offended people can be mean. Really mean.

It's too much. 

And it's making me so tired.

I've toyed (a lot) with the idea of just bailing out of social media altogether... just giving up. And though I haven't ruled it out completely, the truth is, I gain a lot from my online interactions. I love my peeps. So, for now, I'm continuing to whittle down my exposure to the negativity. I've stopped following most news sites. It's helping. I've stopped following people who consistently post things that are contrary to my personal views (not because they're contrary, but because they're often factually wrong or they're simply mean-spirited opinions). It's helping. I've stopped following sites that post things that make my heart hurt (like animal abuse stories). It's helping. And I'll keep doing all of that.

As for me, myself, and I, we're making a vow... 

I saw this a while ago and I thought, what a wonderful a concept - to put into the world positive vibes by talking about everything you love, instead of inviting conflict and ugliness by talking about the things you despise. The idea wormed its way into my psyche and ever since, I've seen a shift in myself and what I'm putting out into the world.

But the shift hasn't been big enough.

As always, I have work to do. 

So, from this point forward, I'm making a concentrated effort to leave the bashing, the complaining, the whining, the butt-hurt, the vitriol, and even the passive-aggressive jabs to anyone who feels it necessary to spit it out, in-person or online. 

I will, from this point forward, only promote what I love. I will no longer bash what I despise.

And I hope (I hope!) to be a better, happier (not quite so blue, much less tired), healthier person for it.


Julie McClay said...

I hear you, Friend. Big hugs to you in the struggle. You are not alone, and you are seen. And remember that sadness brings help to the hurting places. That's what I loved about Inside Out. That and when she just kept touching everything.

Sherri Murphy said...

I love you! And I so agree with this. As you know, I've done it (living in a bubble, basically)and yes, it does help. And someone is always relentless in their attempt to pop the bubble. :( There is so much we can't control in our lives, but we can control unnecessary conflict, negativity, hatred coming before our eyes and ears. I have to let go of the distractions, so I can focus my energy, time and resources where a difference can be made. I can quickly recognize when I am being distracted and need to remove something from my life that is weighing me down that I have the power to remove. It goes. You are a precious vessel-- a wise one-- knowing which things to take to heart and which to release. Prayers for blue skies ahead, not blue days for you. <3

dianne said...

I hope you find your way through this blue patch and your days will be warm and sunnier very soon. We all have 'junk' we have to deal with but we must sort through the good and bad stuff and let go of all the negativity. I thought of closing my blog as the inspiration for my poems has been waning and I have difficulty finding the words to express my feelings sometimes...but I changed my mind as writing is one way to keep my brain active.
I am so looking forward to Autumn and Winter as it has been so hot here, we seem to be having a late Summer heatwave.
Take care dear Diane.
Big hugs
xoxoxo ♡

smalltownme said...

Such a wonderful idea.

I hide so many ugly things on facebook. It makes me happier not to see them!