formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Monday, November 10, 2008

101 Things About Me... More or Less...

1. I was born in Scotland.
2. On the North Sea.
3. The day after Valentine’s Day.
4. I’ll marry the first man who gives me two separate gifts for my birthday and Valentine's Day.
5. I am not materialistic at all.
6. Despite that whole ‘two completely separate gifts’ thing.
7. I will be 44 on my next birthday.
8. I love being in my 40’s.
9. I was born in the Chinese year of the snake.
10. My ex-husband was born in the year of the cock.
11. That’s completely appropriate.
12. And it makes me laugh.
13. A lot.
14. I love to laugh until I cry.
15. I cry at stupid things.
16. Like Hallmark commercials.
17. I make no apologies.
18. I think crying is good for the soul.
19. So is travel.
20. I love to travel.
21. I have been to England 8 times in the past 4 years.
22. I love England.
23. I plan to live there someday.
24. When I get rich.
25. I’m not rich now.
26. At all.
27. I’m not very good with money.
28. I spend a lot of it in England.
29. Because the dollar is in the toilet.
30. The first time I used a toilet that flushed automatically, it scared the crap out of me.
31. Not literally.
32. I felt stupid.
33. I feel stupid fairly often.
34. But I think I’m pretty smart.
35. I might be wrong about that.
36. I’m smart enough to be able to say ‘shit’ in 5 languages.
37. But I can’t actually do it in a public restroom.
38. Unless I’m dying.
39. I also can’t pee outside.
40. I don’t know where these bathroom issues come from.
41. I also have issues with fowl, rats, and cockroaches.
42. I don’t know why.
43. I don’t have issues with snakes, spiders, or weird food.
44. Except Vegemite and Marmite and caviar.
45. Blech.
46. But I love Mexican food.
47. I make great guacamole.
48. And chili.
49. But not much else.
50. I baked cookies from scratch.
51. Once.
52. I wish I cooked better.
53. I always wish at wishing wells and on stars.
54. Always.
55. I once sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star 62 times during a 4-hour car ride.
56. It kept my daughter from crying.
57. I like to change the words to songs to make her laugh.
58. My daughter has a great laugh.
59. She was a perfect baby.
60. I loved being pregnant.
61. Even though I was perfectly round.
62. And it was the middle of summer.
63. In the south.
64. My labor lasted less than 3 hours.
65. I thought I was dying.
66. I changed my mind about wanting a baby.
67. It hurt.
68. A lot.
69. I didn’t like giving birth.
70. At all.
71. I think the people who say you forget that pain are insane.
72. Or lying.
73. I will never forget it.
74. It felt like I was shitting out a couch.
75. My daughter is better than a couch.
76. Most days.
77. Some days I’d like to stuff her under the couch.
78. But I don’t.
79. I don’t do lots of things.
80. For example, I should be working right now.
81. I am a Certified Professional Résumé Writer.
82. I’m good at what I do.
83. But I’d rather blog.
84. I am addicted to blogging.
85. And to email.
86. And to Diet Pepsi.
87. But I gave that up.
88. Sort of.
89. I gave up chocolate, too.
90. Sort of.
91. I won’t give up wine.
92. Or beer.
93. I didn’t know pubs in England even served half-pints.
94. Why would they do that?
95. I love pubs.
96. And my friends.
97. And my dog.
98. And my kid.
99. And swimming.
100. And sheep.
101. Yeah, sheep.

22 comments:

Heinous said...

FIRST!!!

Heinous said...

Vegemite is horrifying.

If you're a guy, you can't use that sheep line. It's just not done. I'm glad you're not.

I'm also glad you're addicted to blogging.

Ronda's Rants said...

Rumor has it...I may be addicted to blogging!!! But...you know whatever gets you through the day!

Lee said...

What a great list! Love it.

Sorry about the award thing - having one of my sooky spaniel moments.

The Odd Duck said...

I did something like this, only mine were questions and took a hell of a long time to write.

I'm addicted to blogging, not so much on the email. IM yes.

One of my neighbours (Scarlett) is an Aussie so I get vegemite often. Love it.

Stevyn Colgan said...

Ha! Enjoyed that a lot! So tell me ... how's the NaNaNeeNeeNooNoo Novel shenanigens going? Bloody hard work isn't it?

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Hey, lay off the Vegemite, you're dealing with a religious icon there, you know!

Interesting list - first time I have seen 26 items padded out to 101 so effectively.

San Diego Momma said...

102. I think you are funny.
103. Very funny.
104. Especially when you compare giving birth to shitting a couch.
105. It was exactly like that.
106. My couch was a sectional.
107. With an extra chaise.

Mel said...

Funny, funny, Dianabelle! This was like your brain filter was removed and you just said exactly what came to mind and added numbers.

Ahhh, spiders...

Diane said...

H... you stalker, you. I'm glad I'm not, too. And glad I am, too. And glad you're such a good stalker :)

Ronda... I'm with ya!

Lee... Thanks! And it's OK. I still love you.

Kendall... I'll say it again... Vegemite. Blech.

Stevyn... Thanks! And to answer your question, NaNooPooPoo is indeed bloody hard work. It's not going especially well, but I'm planning to dive back in this week.

JCN... sorry to offend your Aussie sensibilities. But still... blech. As for my list, as a resume writer, I'm an expert at squeezing 50lbs of crap into a 5lb bag... clearly I'm good at going in the other direction :)

SDM... it takes funny to know funny, darlin'. And yeah, I know about the chaise. Mine had to be pulled out with forceps. Nice.

Mel... as you can tell by my list, I wouldn't have suffocated poor Sammy. Murderer.

Blarney said...

ExceLLenT~! Damned near spit out my tea on 10! Oh and your brother has absolutely no freekin' idea what a great person you are ... I on the other hand am glad I've gotten to know you. Take a deep breath and let it go ...

Maithri said...

Wow, what a fantastc list.

There is a gentle grace about the way you write which is absolutely beautiful.

My two favourite cousins also have the 'doing it in a pubilc restroom' phobia (that sounded wrong but you know what i mean)...lol

Soft light,

Maithri

hebba said...

Wow, that made me laugh. Great post!

Jane! said...

I don't believe I have ever seen so many man-comments on one blog...
must've been the beer comments?
Shitting out a couch, huh? Mine was a Cadillac.

Shanna said...

You make 100 things about you look so easy to do!
Don't be surprised if Jenna (you know the one who found you throgh me - you're welcome :) becomes your next biggest fan. Or stalker. Or both. You listed her two weaknesses. Diet Pepsi and Chocolate. She too gave up Diet Pepsi. Sort of. A couple times. Sort of. LOL :)

GREAT post!

Red Cup Mom said...

Whoa! Where'd the list come from? I need to catch up on my reading and comment back on your brother post.

I need go count sheep... but wanted to say hi and thanks for the award too!!! You are terrific!

Protege said...

Diane, you crack me up! I agree with the blog addiction though, I have never done so little work since when I started to blogg. Is it one g or two? Can never figure that one out, as that word is not in my spelling check.:P:P
I hate spiders though.
But I LOVE guacamole, so you will have to make it for me on your visit.;)
This was a very funny post; your train of thought(s) is amazing.;))

Live More Now (LMN) said...

P.S. Diane - I meant to ask you - how is your book coming? I signed up, and then have utterly failed. I drafted an outline and then have in no way kept up with my 6 pages per day requirement.... How is YOURS going? What are you writing about? I would love to see an excerpt.

Live More Now (LMN) said...

Mine is going to be called something along the lines of "Bees Don't Like Black, (& other anecdotes from a jam-packed life)." It too will be a collection of hopefully unique short stories that have made up the peaks and valleys of my life and will include mini-memoirs or sketches of people important to me as well. At times it will be an attempt at humor, and at other times fairly serious. But mostly I wanted to start writing, in the form of short stories so as not to be too intimidating, about things that I know something about. Now if I could just do the writing part!!!

angie said...

I loved every 101 lines of things about you.

I procrastinate too. sometimes. :)

Heather said...

So you make good guacamole, huh? Congratulations, you are OFFICIALLY my new best friend/big sister I never had. Mexican food is my favorite. When are you moving in?

hautepocket said...

Will you make me some guacamole and send it to CA? Come ON, Donna. :)