formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Master What?!

Someone once said, "Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself." Truer words were never spoken. I am a Master Procrastinator. In this sense, I'm definitely not the Master of my Domain (though I really think Seinfeld got it backwards. See, I think if you DO... ummm... IT, you should be the Master... not if you don't. If you don't, you're only depriving yourself... and I don't see the point in that, and I definitely don't see where it makes you the Master of anything... except maybe Deprivation. And who wants to be the Master of Deprivation? Especially when we're talking about masturbation. Anyway, can we move on? I'm actually NOT talking about masturbation here. Geez. It IS always about sex with you, isn't it?).

AS I WAS SAYING... I'm a Master Procrastinator. Always have been. I have a vivid memory of when I was about 9, sitting on my bed on a Sunday night, scribbling furiously in a notebook. I was doing a report on all the presidents to that point, taken from (but not copied word for word!) the encyclopedia (for those of you younger bloggers, that's what we used before Wikipedia), and due first thing Monday morning. I remember feeling beyond stressed; I remember sweating it, thinking I would NEVER finish; I remember saying to myself, "I will never put anything off again."

Pffffft.

That was the start of a pattern that would become a way of life. My life. I'm doing it right now! I have 3 resumes I should be doing. But what AM I doing? This. I'm clearly doing this (keep up, people) and not resumes (the work I actually get paid to do).

Why?

I dunno. I put loads of stuff off... and not just stuff I don't like to do. I put off stuff I enjoy... stuff that's good for me. Why? I dunno. Am I lazy? Well, yeah, sort of. But I don't think that's it... not all of it anyway. I dunno.

Do you?

Are there any other Master Procrastinators out there? How about any reformed Master Procrastinators ('cause I'd really like to hear from you). Until then, however, I'm going to go make a cup of tea... get the mail... read a few blogs... send an email or two...

19 comments:

Mel said...

I thought I'd wait 'til Heinous left his comment so he could be first again, but SUCK IT, HEINOUS - I'M FIRST! (weird, I'm not competitive at all normally)

So, you have the same response to procrastination as most people do to heavy nights of drinking: I'll never do that again!

You name is Diane and you're a procrastinator.

Mama Kat said...

I'm actually a master masturbator and you're SO right you DO end up screwing yourself!

La Pixie said...

I know what you mean... I always promise myself that I wont put off stuff anymore... but then I do. LOL

La Pixie said...

oh, and TMI, Mama Kat!

Jane! said...

You are preaching to the choir, sister. Sadly, I believe it is a terminal disease for which there is no permanent cure.

But better to be a Master Procrastinator than the Person in Charge of Putting Worms on Hooks... generally referred to as the Master Baiter.

Heinous said...

Wow, I'm really far down...and dissed by Mel. The tragedy of it all.

Anyway, I'm a procrastinator. Deadlines are more inspiring the closer they get. It's also made me a master of knowing my limitations. 2000 word article? researched, edited,and written? Gimme 14 hours over three days (that's 2 hours on the third day for edits.)

Now as to which is more fun? Duh...

I will reclaim my position though...watch your back there Mel...Mwahahahahaha.

Shanna said...

Only Jane! would think to tell the joke I learned in 8th grade! ;) LOL

Hmm I am also a procrastinator. I think it might just be human nature and anyone who doesn't procrastinate is just a freak. For instance, I should have vacuumed my floors today, done a load of towels AND finished a project that has to get mailed out on Friday. But didn't do any of them. Instead I blog stalked. So...sorry no reformation in my house!

Oh and I don't think it was too much information at all Mama Kat! *wink*

The Odd Duck said...

Even though I have a shirt that says "Procrastinators Unite Tomorrow" I've very much NOT a procrastinator. I'm one of those freakish people who gets things out of the way as soon as possible. You'd think this would make high school and college much easier. Heh, tell that to my ulcer.

Now masturbation on the other hand...

- Kendall

P. S. Yes, the pun was intended.

Diane said...

My name is Diane and I am a procrastinator. Sigh.

Kathy... I'm with ya, darlin'. Well, not WITH ya ('cause I really don't want to see that), but you know what I mean.

Pixie, Jane!, Shanna... obviously I'm in good company. I don't feel so bad now... thanks!

H... I'm the Queen of Deadlines. I STILL pull all-nighters to meet them. Ridiculous. And yeah, I'm well aware of what's more fun. Duh.

Diane said...

Kendall... FREAK! And that's when being borderline ambidextrous comes in 'handy'... hee hee hee... ;)

Red Cup Mom said...

I procrastinate too. I think the moon phases affect us. You know that time of the month or not. I surge and dip all month long in various stages. I get good work product out when there's heaping shitloads of stuff to do and pound it all out.

I think also we procrastinate when we have to do things we don't particularly enjoy doing. That's always bothered me.

Life should be enjoyable and that goes for your task list too.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I'll think about it and get back to you.

Protege said...

Diane, as you can see, everyone can recognize themselves in your post.:) Me included. I too save everything for later and then end up with LOTS of things to finish at once.
I have no idea why it is so much more fun doing all the things you are NOT suppose to be doing.:P

Protege said...

Aw, my comment was nr 13! As I am very superstitious, here is another one from me.;)))

Heather said...

I, too, am a MASTER PROCRASTINATOR. Is there anything above master, because I might actually be that. For instance, I know without a doubt, that every other Tuesday a certain publication MUST be printed here at work, which means I have two weeks to gather info, write stories, get graphics, ect. HOWEVER, the Friday before it has to printed, I'm ALWAYS scrambling trying to get it all done in a day. WHY?? Who knows? Every week I tell myself I'm going to do it earlier so I'm not stressed, but every week I find myself in the same position!

thailandchani said...

Oh, yes. That is definitely a pattern in my life. I've come to accept it as just being part of who I am. At least it all gets done eventually. :)



~*

Ronda's Rants said...

Oh if you could see my office....

Lee said...

You would not believe how many really good reasons I can find for putting off things that I really should be doing. Like the masturbation analogy, too. Perhaps that's why I keep procrastinating. To quote Woody Allen, there's nothing wrong with masturbation - at least it is sex with someone you love.

doctawho42 said...

Me. Too.
The best thing I have ever procrastinated about is a blog post about procrasatination. Thats not even supposed to be funny. Its tragic. Bloody tragic.
Also, hello! :)