formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Monday, December 1, 2008

Yeah, It's Monday...

So, this morning, as usual, I take Sundance to the park. As usual, he picks his poop spot with painstaking care (I wonder what, exactly, constitutes a good poop spot in a dog’s eyes?). And he commences pooping. And he keeps pooping. And he keeps on keepin’ on. And after a few minutes, I realize he’s got a hanger. Crap. Literally. A big dingleberry, just hanging out of him. He looks ‘round at me with this, “Good lord, can’t you help me?” look on his face. Pitiful. Thing is, I don’t want to help. It’s icky. And it’s something no one should ever have to do… pull poop out of some other creature’s butt. Nope. It was not on my agenda this morning. But he’s waddling around, still in poop stance, a few feet forward every minute or so, clearly hoping it’s just going to drop out of him. But it’s not dropping anywhere. It’s still just a hangin’. Nice. Crap. Literally. So I bend down, holding my breath, making sure the pick-up bag is wrapped firmly around my hand, and I reach for it, up close to his butt, figuring I can separate it from his hiney pretty quickly. But it doesn’t separate. It’s still hanging. Crap. Literally. So I roll my eyes, say a swear word (or two), grab it (bag still covering my hand, mind you), and pull. And pull. And pull. The poop is attached to something… something very long (like nearly a foot long!!). I don’t know what it was and I didn’t want to look too closely (but it sort of resembled that raffia stuff you see wrapped around country crafty crap... not so literally... in Michaels). I can’t think of anything he could have eaten the past day or so that would look like that (unlike the time he ate the streamers from Ryan’s bike handlebars and I had to pull foot-long sparkly ropes of poop out of his butt for 2 days).

Anyway, that was my Monday morning. How was yours?

19 comments:

Cari said...

EWWWW but been there and done that...YUCK..For me, the worse is when I'm pulling it out and it keeps coming, and then breaking off, but is still hanging and I've got to do it all over again and realize its strands of my hair that she ate and is tangled in her poop!!!

Shanna said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA I know that many 'hahas' weren't necessary but seriously? Thanks for the much needed laugh this morning ;)

Poor Sundance.

Crap.

Poor you.

:)

Live More Now (LMN) said...

Oh gosh. gosh gosh gosh. ick. That sounded bad. I can relate, though to a lesser scale, having to pull the same from my 5 lb chihuahua - on occasion he eats a stray hair. I have long hair. It has the same effect. Always very weird. Hope your Monday improves!

Heather said...

Hahahaha...this is wonderful. Thank you!!
Toby ate a rope tug-toy one time, so I know how you feel about having to pull pieces of stuff from your dogs butt. I guess he swallowed most of it whole. Yuck.

Protege said...

Aw Diane! Poor you! And poor Sundance! What a Monday morning indeed, what a way to start a new week, LOL.:)
Maybe it is time to visit the vet?;))

Mel said...

You're so, um, descriptive.

Ronda's Rants said...

I would like to thank ...right here and now...the good Lord that I have never had to do this!!!
You win...I thought my Moday was sucky...but it smells like roses compared to yours!
I agree...you are quite descriptive!
I hope Tuesday is less crappy!

Jenners said...

Well that was something!!!! Good thing I wasn't snacking on a candy bar or something while reading that! At least you got a good post out of it!!!! I think I would have vomited on the spot if I had to pull a foot long thing out of my dog's ass.

Needless to say, my Monday was significantly better than yours. I suspect most people's were.

The Odd Duck said...

The things we do for our pets. Little brats don't know how lucky they are at times.

hautepocket said...

Life stinks. Haha. Hah...oh me..

Sam_I_am said...

My girl dog, Narnia, eats EVERYTHING. I think I spotted a... ummm... Trojan... in the yard today. However, we went to the vet today and he said she's doing great. Good thing I forgot the stool sample.

Maithri said...

Thats hilarious,

Thanks for the smile my friend,

Love and peace, M

hebba said...

Dogs Rock!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Himmel! One post requires oven gloves, the next surgical gloves.

Might be a good to to worm the mutt.

Lee said...

Oh thanks heaps! Piles, in fact. If I can't sleep tonight, I'm blaming you!

Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine said...

What a delightful way to start the day for both you and Sundance

SouthernBelle said...

LOL, I too have had the misfortune of this experience, I am another long-haired lady so it is all my own fault.

Oh wait, it is the Husband's fault because he won't let me cut my hair. Excellent.

Henry the Dog said...

I HAD to comment here. Not only is this post hilarous but I have to explain from a dog's eye view. You humans have no idea have you? Picking the right poop spot is an art. My mum gets hugely frustrated with me too. I reckon the longer a dog takes to choose a poop spot, the more intelligent it is. Some dogs simply put one foot out of the door and poop. Not me. Mum says "Oh he's looking for the hallowed ground again" and she's right. It has to have just the right mix of smell, it has to have been pooped on before at some point in the past, it has to have the right textures, for me it has to be grass, not too long, not too short, not too damp. I could go on. And as for the danglers - with me it usually happens when I've been eating grass. Mum swears too when it happens and gets all red-faced.

Blarney said...

OH MY GAWD! Thankfully we live in the middle of nowhere right next to podunk so there's no chance of anyone knowing it happened here but still I would be so horrified! Yuck.just.YUCK!