formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Love, Me...

I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day (shock and surprise, right?). It seems a pretty pointless, manufactured 'holiday' to me. I mean, if you love someone, you ought to be showing them every day, don't you think? Assigning a day, which basically seems (to me, anyway) to require a person to prove how much they love someone, is just not right.

If you're in a relationship, there are certain expectations where Valentine's Day is concerned. But no one likes to articulate those expectations. And since people aren't mind-readers, people fall short. Lord knows, I've never actually had a good one... never had one full of romance and hearts and flowers. Never once. My ex was incredibly unromantic (well, he was pretty much unfeeling so romance was completely out of the question). Add to the fact that my birthday is the day after? Yeah. I've said many times I'll marry the first person who can differentiate between the two days. I'm not materialistic (I swear) and it's not about getting two presents (I swear) but I'd love my birthday to be acknowledged separately from the Pink and Red day. Maybe I'm being petty... I don't know. But it's how I feel.

And if you're not in a relationship, you're reminded at every turn how someone else would complete you... make you whole... make your eyes sparkle and rainbows fly out your butt. Yeah. I don't subscribe to that theory either. Well, not anymore.

Years ago someone gave me this poem. Though I was still married and it didn't really apply to my life at the time, it spoke to me. I hung onto it and when I saw it printed on a plaque in a gift shop a few years later, I bought it and hung it on the wall over my dresser. When my marriage ended, the poem became the words I lived by. Yesterday I found out that a dear bloggy friend just ended a relationship... it was so hard for her to do because even though she knows this person isn't right for her, she loves him. So on this Valentine's Day, I wanted to share these words with her... and with anyone whose Valentine is herself (or himself)...




Comes the Dawn
(Author Unknown)




After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.
And you learn kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
And you learn to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain.
For plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong...
And you really do have worth...
and you learn... and learn
With every good-bye,
you learn.

On this Valentine's Day, remember...

Love, Me... XO

26 comments:

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I can see why the poem touches you.

I hope it was/is a happy day.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

...you're reminded at every turn how someone else would complete you... make you whole... make your eyes sparkle and rainbows fly out your butt. Diane, I am in a relationship and have never found this either - if that helps... I also don't have expectations for V. Day and have never found it to be successful... We have to heal us, we have to find love within us...

I wish you every happiness for your birthday tomorrow, may you have a splendiferous day that is as bright and as wonderful as you, dear bright, blog friend! xox

blognut said...

I like this, I like it alot. I think, until a person really understands that happiness and wholeness come from within, that it's awfully hard to have a healthy relationship. That's what this poem says to me.

Have a very happy day, and enjoy your birthday too my friend.

lisa said...

Those are strong words to live by and hope you have a super terrific birthday.

Lisa said...

Not a real fan myself.
To many expectaions are left flailing in the wind.
love the poem, thanks Diane

Missy said...

Great post!

Kristin said...

I am in a relationship and guess where we spent our romantic valentines day. Doing our taxes in my mom's house. He did get me a card.

Braja said...

Love the cloud pic, and agree about Valentine's Day. My post should give you a chuckle...

SHerri said...

Well, I for one LOVE YOU on Valentine's DAY!!!!!

And Tomorrow on your birthday!

I'm tellin' ya', the love of your life was one of the plumber guys and you misssed it!

Call them back! Call them back! Look closer this time.

Maithri said...

You know what?

Today and tommorrow and the next day...ad infinitum ( i love that term makes me sound so intellectual dontcha think lol)

Are days for us to let you know how much you're appreciated. What a difference you make to so many. How much love you bring to the world..

You dont need a rainbow flyin out your butt... (though i dont deny that would be a sight to see...)

You're a living, walking, blogging, valentine to the world...

Much love my friend, Much love,

M

Lee said...

It's already your birthday here. Have a VERY happy one.

Coachdad said...

Happy Birthday! Let me just that adore reading you stuff!

hebba said...

Well put! I love that poem, too. I had rainbows fly out of my butt once, but that was after some particularly potent Mexican food and nobody was looking to cuddle with me that night!
You share a birthday with my dad. Good day, that Feb 15th!

Michelle said...

I love you Diane!!!

This post says it brilliantly!! And that poem is amazing!! I really love what it says and it speaks to me!!!

Your the best!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!!!! Have an amazing day girlie!!!

Red Cup Mom said...

Happy Birthday to you for Feb. 15! Valentine's Day is a weird day alright.

Debbie Hannan said...

loved the poem! Happy birthday tomorrow...
You and you alone..are enough!

Blu said...

Great words, great post. Flowers and fancy meals cost money that some cannot afford, love is more than that.

Hope you had a good day.

Protege said...

Diane, you are a never ending source of strength.
You have no idea how wonderful this post was. And how much I needed to hear this exactly.
Thank you!
And have a great birthday today my dear friend!
xoxo
Z

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday and happy Valentine's day!

OOYSA

Mel said...

Bah-hum-love! Wait, is that putting negativity out into the universe? I don't need any more speedbumps when it comes to this stuff. I've already created enough myself.

Stealing the poem, btw.

Sometimes Sophia said...

Happy birthday, again. What people say here is so true. You lift us up with your wonderful spirit and writing. The poem is a sober reminder of where we should be centered as individuals. Thank you for it.

Also, I finally got my hands on Open My Eyes, Open My Soul, and read it over the weekend. A great read... no wonder you describe the inclusion of your story as a high point in your life. What fine company to be in.

Also, kudos to Ryan. It looks as if she found the perfect gift.

Heather said...

Just got home from celebrating my grandma's 80th birthday this weekend and I'm trying to get caught up on my reading...
Loved the poem. Really, so much.
I'm so glad you shared that. I hope you had a great birthday (totally void of red and pink hearts!)
Love - your bloggy sister :)

namaste said...

Wonderful poem!

Jenners said...

Amen!!!!

San Diego Momma said...

I remember getting that poem on my 18th birthday two (plus twenty) years ago and I've loved it ever since.

I am sure it brought your friend some comfort. At least I hope so.

LMN said...

Hallelujah. To all of it!