I’m taking a poll…
How many of you are happy… really happy… with your lives and who you are?
If you answer “I am!”, can you tell me what it is about your life and/or yourself that enables you to say that?
And if you answer “No” (or “Hell no!”), can you tell me what it is that’s holding you back? If you can’t say; if it’s too personal (or if you just don’t know), I understand, but if you can divulge (even anonymously), I truly want to know. Truly.
Oh, and if you’re one of the people who reads my blog but doesn’t usually/ever say anything, feel free to leave an anonymous comment to this particular post (or email me!). I’d really love to hear from as many people as possible about this.
Thanks! XO
40 comments:
I would say that I am MOSTLY happy. I have a great husband that I know is faithful and loves me no matter how crazy I am. I have two great healthy kids that are well behaved and love each other.
In order to be happy to the fullest, i have a few things I need to change about myself. Things that would make daily life easier. Things both physically and mentally-heavy on the mental.
I can say I'm happy, because I choose to be happy. I've learned that no one person can give me complete happiness, but me. I've also changed my way of thinking, which in turn changed my way of living.
It's not easy all the time, but that's when I pray and ask for help.
I hope that helps in any way.
I think "happy" comes and goes. I'm content and at peace. I experience happy times and not-so-happy times, but overall my life is wonderful and i feel blessed.
it really is a choice and i choose to not let the tough days rule.
I'm definitely a happy guy. No one is "happy" all the time (at least without meds), but I'd say I'm in the 80-90 percent range. I'll take that, for sure.
Now if the Yankees can pull off a championship this year, we may bump it up to 95%.
I want to say yes. I don't want to say no. The truth is closer to no than yes. Why? Something to do with being weary of a long commute (for 5 years) and waiting for change (shorter commute and more time with family and less tired!).
Yes I'm happy. Obviously there are bad days (and really bad days) but overall I'm happy. I have a great husband who helps out with our kids and lets me have a social life without complaining about staying home with the kids. My kids are amazing. Really, they are. Well, behaved and I'm so glad I'm their mom! I hate to say it, but money is also a factor in my happiness. It's nice not to feel stressed about it day in and day out or to struggle for every. little. expense!
I'm happy with the path in life I've chosen and the people I've chosen to surround myself with.
This doesn't mean I don't think dark thoughts on those bad days...I'm certainly not perfect...but those are more easily accepted and I'm better able to get through them knowing that tomorrow can be a better day.
Are YOU happy? I hope so! You are such a great person with so much to offer - not just in Blog Land but as a mother and friend!
Am I happy? Hum? For the most part I'm generally happy. I should be happy. I'm healthy, I have a job, I have family and friends that care about me (most of the time). But most of the time I'm not very happy with my life. Mainly because I'm not happy with me. But when i stop and think about it, is it me I'm not happy with or is the "me" that everyone thinks I should be that I can't live up to, that makes the real me unhappy.
hum??? I don't think that made any sense. Thats the real me thinking their. LOL.
I am happy. Although I do have my moments of remorse and saddness (we all do), I am happy where I am and with who I am. A few of the bigger parts of what makes that possible are my ability to let it go and keep working to make tomorrow better, the knowledge that time heals all wounds and that troubles pass and my thirst for travelling to places to see things and meet people.
Work when you must, play when you can but think and plan always.
Cheers, stu.
Am I happy? Jeez! You know what? Despite all the crap that life has thrown me throughout the years (and there has been a lot of crap, as you know), I'd have to say I'm relatively happy. Well, at least more happy than not.
My family, as much as they drive me crazy and depend on me too much, are fairly lovable. And, even the bad times give me good stories to tell other people. I could have walked away many times, but there's something besides sheer responsibility that keeps me around, so it must be them, you know?
I have friends who accept (even if they don't understand ;)) that I'm a very private person about some things and go weeks sometimes without communicating.
I've got a good job which appears to be relatively secure, which I actually enjoy doing most days and gives me just the right amount of responsibility and independence. My boss is a decent person (especially compared to what I've had before).
I don't have to answer to anyone (for the most part) in my personal life, so I can make whatever decisions I want knowing that I only have myself to blame if things go south, so there won't be any tension with anyone else.
The girls give me so much joy that I don't even have the words to express it. When I'm around them, I see possibilities that I haven't before. It's sounds trite and cliche, but I feel like having them in my life makes me a better person.
Things I would change? Absolutely! Frustrations? Really dark days? Sadness? Anger? Resentment? You bet! Sometimes even overwhelming. But, for the most part, things seem to chug along just fine, and I'm okay with it. My little daily beige pill helps some for sure, but I think it just helps me be more myself without all that nasty misfiring brain chemistry getting in the way and clouding things.
I think it's more about the fact that I am content. I have joy in the middle of all circumstances no matter whether things are good or bad. I learned this when I went through months if intense anxiety. Even though things were awful, I felt thankful for my life. I was in the middle of a thunderstorm, and I felt content. It's hard to explain, but it was the first time I fully understood joy. And I think that's true happiness.
This is one of tyhose times when I don't want to read any of the other comments till after.
'Course, you're not always so big on replying here, so, checking back isn't always called for.
On the other hand, your quest sort of split me neatly in two.
On the one hand, I am happy with my journey of trying to find my 'way' through this labrynth of life, and then again, it sure was a bit more fun when i had an income.
As an insulator, I had the steady work and a steady paycheck, but, little time to explore painting or writing or music....
As a professional artist, I find that sometimes my friends and family try to tie me up with 'projects' and such (presumably because I'm unemployed) but even so, I'm afforded more time to explore the arts.
So, while my journey is what I like doing, the rewards are teensie.
Am I happy?
Hmmmm.
Good question.
I think I am a happy person for the most part. I get stressed about stupid things like money and my weight but the important things in my life keep me sane.
Interesting topic. I am happy that I am still alive, I had cancer. So I enjoy so much of the simple things in life. But sometimes I am sad, and sometimes I am lonely. On the whole I cherish my moments and what I have even though it is simple.
I hope that all is well for you Blu x
Okay, I thought I knew my answer when I hit the post-a-comment button, but..... Now I think that I just don't want to think about this because while I thought I WAS happy, maybe if I think about it too long, I'll realize I'm not.
Running away.......
I am miserable. That's why I've started blogging to read about people with interesting lives and how they deal with the hard times. I need a little encouragment from other peoples stories so that I can see that I'm not alone and its not all that bad.
You know, honestly, I'm content. I always want more, but I always know things could get worse. How's that for a craptacular answer?!
I want more as in a fascinating career, a passionate love life, and amazing voyages across the world that keep me stimulated.
I know that I could not have a wonderful kiddo, a nice husband (still not passionate and intense, lol), and I could be in a position that allowed me to not even take the small trips that I'm okay to take now.
So, in other words, I'm good to go. Thanks for asking.
Very happy: Wonderful family, interesting hobbies, challenging and important job that I am good at...
But, most of all, I live life with a sense of humor that helps me not sweat the small stuff.
Oh, Diane, I'm copping out for the mo', my lovely... Often betwixt and between 'happy' to be fair - No reasons or seasons, or too much thinking...
Life is complex, non?! xox
Closer to yes than no - dark days in between - at the moment, dark as night - but I have a life that's worth fighting for, so I will. I must.
What holds me back? ME. Is there ever a different answer? No. Sure, there are things/events/people that plague me on the bad days, and they eat me alive. I have a hole in my heart so big at the moment that I can't believe it isn't visible on the outside, but I'm the only one who can fix it.
What's going to change about that? Me. Did I do this to myself, or choose it? Nope. Are there people out there who love me and will help me fix this thing? Yep. Can they do it for me? Nope. It's all about ME and what I choose to do about my state of mind.
A whole blog post in your comments section and I realize that I am the only thing that holds me back. If I let anyone else hold me back, I'm wasting one F of a lot of time with the spry genius. (Who might be wearing only one shoe at the moment, as the other is lodged firmly in my backside.)
Love you lady. XO
What an interesting topic. I think I am content for the most part. I have lovely people in my life, I love my job. I feel good about the person I am and how my life is.
There are super stressful times, just like anyone, but I try not to let that get to me.
Cool post - it is fun to read everyone's comments.
Well, define happy?
Honestly, I am not 'happy' right now. Happy for me meaning content with the things going on in and around me in my life. No, I'm not happy right now, circumstances won't really allow it. Having said that, I still manage to find moments in my days where I am ECSTATIC at the small miracles that abound.
That's good enough for now.....time to be happy after the sh*t stops hitting the fan around here :)
You know that saying "Happiness is the privilege of the ignorant"? Well, there is something to it.;))
What a difficult question to answer Diane.;)
I do not think I am happy, at least not all the time. I would not label myself as unhappy or "hell no happy" either.;))
I believe in fleeting moments of true happiness that transcends everything and I believe in the magic of the waiting time in between. I believe in simple and small pleasures and I believe in always growing and changing in order to become a more balanced person, or a happy person.:) I believe in magic of every single day and I marvel over the fact that each day I get another chance to live my life fully, with new possibilities and opportunities.
I believe in a balance where there is room for both happiness and despair, as one without the other would make no sense.;)))
I am happy, for the most part. I have a job that I like that is challenging and interesting, I have wonderful people in my life, I am healthy and am able to give back to the world with $$ and my time volunteering.
When I am not happy, I find it is because I am judging my life by comparing what I DON'T have to what others have. I am who I am and where I am because of choices I made. When I am unhappy, I make the necessary changes to become happy. Maya Angelou said it best "If you don't like something, change the situation; if you can't change the situation, change your attitude"
Just back from vacation and you hit me with something like this!!! (And your little vacation sounded pretty good too -- although a bit bad for your liver.)
I would say I'm about 95% happy -- but it has taken me awhile to get there. Finding a true partner to walk with me through life helps tremendously. Having a great kid added more happiness to my life than I could ever imagine. And being busy all the time, I don't have time to be unhappy or brood about stuff like I used to do when I had way too much time on my hands. Plus I've been on Zoloft for 4 years and let me tell you, that helps to smooth out the high highs and the low lows. So I'm happy and I think the key is just learn to be content with what you have and not focus on what you DON'T have. Easier said than done though.
I have chosen to be happy...although sometimes I have to grit my teeth when I say it...:)
I am content with my life for sure...everything is not perfect but I am content...I just noticed that you said...really happy and to be honest...I am not really happy as I think I worry too much to be a really happy person!
My oldest son is a really happy person (I am going to ask him for sure) but he is just and always has seemed happy by nature...joyful...big belly laughs...funny!
I think we choose happiness and to be very honest there are days I don't choose to be happy!
Great question!
I'm with most of your commenters on this one in that I am content. Happiness comes and goes. I'm a lot happier than I was last year at this time, and I'm aiming to be happier next year. But of course, there are days where I am unhappy with everyone and everything and myself. It passes. And I go for a run.
I wanted to see if anyone else had some miracle to share; or some other sort of enlightening happy advice.
I'm totally stalking your happy poll.
Oh my God!
THAT did not come out right!
I am blessed. Very blessed. I know that. I've been given some wonderful gifts, and I'm grateful for what I do have, and it is a lot.
But the real pain of my life is that I don't really belong anywhere or to anyone, and I am painfully insecure (I try to hide that part, but sometimes it's hard!). This makes it difficult for me to trust that people actually like me and want to be with me -- see, told ya, it was a painful insecurity. I also have MDD and PTSD, which make life hard to navigate at times.
And I have a lot of fear in spite of my "we can't live in fear" philosophy. But I think in this world, "if we are not scared, then we aren't really paying attention!" (I think I stole that from Grey's Anatomy.) It's true, though.
But here's the deal, I work my ass off doing the really difficult work of moving toward wholeness. I take risks everyday with people I care about and desire to be friends with. I reach out even when I fear rejection. I keep going. I keep trying. I keep getting up each day and asking God, "How can I be a part of whatever it is you are doing today?" Sometimes it's clear how I can give and love and reach out, and sometimes it's not.
Sometimes I get rejected. But it's all been worth the risk to keep living even when I don't have all the things my heart has desired like my own family and a place to feel completely safe.
So, am I happy? I am living and choosing to live and love everyday in spite of all that could have (and at times totally has) tripped me up, taken me under, and made me come totally undone! And this choice I make IS NOT always an easy one!
So I'm thinking that so didn't answer your question and that I may look like a "bass ass" right now, but I'm going to push "publish" anyhow!
I am!
That's not to say I don't have any 'bad' days - but I like who I am, I love my friends & family, I enjoy what I'm doing with my life, and I feel in control that I could change things if I wasn't happy.
Does that help?
Happy is an awful term. Better is contented or satisfied. My supervisor in honours, who specialised in "subjective well-being" would ask the question "on a scale of 0 - 10, how satisfied are you with your life?".
By and large, at present, I am quite satisfied. Say an 8. Happiness generally comes from doing rather than having. Now, I haven't been doing much blogging but I have been doing lots of other stuff and it feels good.
I am reasonably happy, I have a lot to be grateful for, I have a place to call home,three really good children and two lovely grandchildren.
I do however have a lot of pressure in my life because of my eldest son who has progressive MS. I dont know what the future will hold for him or if he has a future,that impacts on my future as well... one day at a time...
but having said this I do look for happy moments where I can find them and there are many.
Although we are influenced by our circumstances and surroundings I do believe that happiness comes from within and we have to make the most of what we do have.
I am so very lonely and would really love to have someone wonderful to share my life, someone to love and someone who loves me...that would make me happier. ♡
I hope you are happy Diane dear. ♡
Wow... this is a tough one. I can really relate to Mel's comment about being a private person... That being the case, I think I'll address this in an email to you.
I guess I would say I'm happy-ish.
I know in my heart that I have been incredibly blessed with a wonderful family and a great job. But I still have days that I wish I was anywhere but here. I love my little town, I do - but I have yet to make any really good friendships here and I get lonely, especially with Kevin living so far away. Sometimes I go into self pity mode and have a good cry... I'm not proud to say that, but it's true.
I try to stay positive and remind myself of all of the wonderful things in my life. But I guess part of me always wonders what I could be missing out on if I only had the guts to really push. I've alawys been a dreamer. Maybe it's time to just accept reality for what it is?
I'm not giddy happy all the time, but yes, overall I am happy.
I have moments of despair, but having duffered from depression in the past, I try to stay focused on the good things that are in my life and all around me. Sometimes I really must stretch to find the good, but it's always there.
I nurture my soul most of all which brings me peace and allows me to remain happy amidst circumstances that would otherwise bring someone to their knees. I could easily give in and live my life as an unhappy woman if I focused on the things that are not as I would like them to be.
I just refuse to do that. I flat out refuse!
I am happy most of the time. When I can run I am very happy. Happy to be able to do what I love to do.
Happy is relative though.
Tomorrow I may feel sad. But right now, yes I am happy!!!
I'm usually not happy, but I'm not sure why. I don't always appreciate who I am and I'm not the person I used to be and I'm not sure when I lost her. I used to be awesome in crowds and with kids and everyone loved me. When we went to Girl Scout Camp and one of the little kids started to cry because they were homesick, they asked for me. I was happy then. Now, I don't know what to do with a crowd, I don't know what to say to people and I'm not happy. I don't have time to do the things I want to do and it makes me unhappy. I think I've lost my balance. It made me lose my happy, too.
SHERRIFICATION WORD: "DUFFERED" = SUFFERED.
See why I am so happy? I crack myself up!
happy- yep, pretty much so. its hard with depression but i do have incredible bounce back, which is good.
Happy though- its a chosen state for me- i choose to be there rather than anywhere else- i choose to work from there, to live from there.
I dont know if other people are happy naturally or not but for me its a conscious thing for sure xx
I think I am happier than almost everyone I know. Of course, no one is happy 24/7, we all have moments of sadness or despair. As many others have said, I've made some choices to get to happiness:
1. I avoid unpleasantness. That doesn't mean I keep my head in the sand, but I do things like avoid the weekend local news (it's all about crime, murder, accidents, shootings.) I tape the news to watch later and fast forward through more bad news about the economy, for example. I know it's bad, I avoid unpleasant people, too, when possible.
2. I volunteer ---nothing will make one happier with one's own life than seeing that you don't have it as bad as someone else and knowing that you are making a difference, however small, even if only twice a year, depending on my schedule and circumstances.
3, I stopped worrying about what other people do unless it is harming me or someone else. If I know a child is being abused, I do something about it. If the neighbor dresses inappropriately, I ignore it.
4. I stopped worrying about what other people think. I figure 1/3 will dislike me, 1/3 will like me, and 1/3 don't care --no matter what I say or do. So be it.
5. When someone does something that annoys me, I always try to rationalize the behavior from their point of view. I might not agree, but if I can see a reason, my anger goes away.
6. I slow down, relax, do something soothing, do something for myself, and/or have some fun every day: take a walk, soak in the tub, watch a DVD, read a book, stretch, write for my blog, pet the cat.
7. I have learned to say "No." I used to get sucked into big projects for organizations I belonged to, when I didn't have the time. Then I was resentful. Now I say "No," but when I have time, I'll volunteer to do something, even if it is as simple as buying cookies for a meeting.
8. If all else fails, I take a nap.
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