formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Friday, May 18, 2012

Engagements and Weddings and Babies, Oh My!

So, I’ve spent the week traveling ‘round Blogland, looking for all my old bloggy friends, to see what they’ve been up to during my little sabbatical. It seems that a whole lot of people took a break from blogging around the same time I did… and never came back. That made me a little sad. OK, that made me a lot sad. But I perked up when I saw several familiar faces, like Sometimes Sophia and Hebba and Ladybird World Mother, and a bunch of other wonderful, writerly souls. And I was thrilled to see that a lot of my bloggy friends have experienced (or are currently experiencing) big, happy Life events! There have been engagements and weddings and pregnancies and babies and big trips and getting published!! It’s so exciting and I’m so happy for everyone!!

And it made me think about my life for the past 18 months.

OK, it’s not like nothing happened…


Really.  Stuff happened.


OK, so not a lot of stuff happened. I got a job. I hated it. I mean really hated it. I don’t have it anymore. It’s a relief, really, and I’m looking forward to finding something I actually want to do. I took Ryan on a couple of camping trips. They were fun (and hot). I made a couple of great new friends. I coached my little sinkers last summer, just like the summers before (and I’m getting ready to start this year’s season), and did another breast cancer walk (probably not this year, though)…

To clarify, there were no engagements (or even boyfriends), weddings (or even boyfriends), pregnancies (whew), babies (double whew), big trips (I don’t think Florida counts as ‘big’), or getting published (it’s hard to get published when you don’t, you know, write).

I feel a little behind the curve.

The truth is, the last couple of years have been a bit difficult. At first it was financial… but then, after the money situation got a bit better (with that awful job), it became about something else. Doing something you hate eight hours a day (even if it’s something you know you have to do in order to survive) takes it out of you. And for the past year-and-a-half, I watched, feeling helpless, as my energy, creativity, and good health just drained out of me.

It was kind of awful, really.

I did try to make it better. I did. But I didn’t take control in the way I should have. I was tired and I let the fatigue get the better of me. I’m still tired, truth be told, but I’m in a much better place mentally and emotionally. Mostly. And I have to get to a much better place physically, as I’m dealing with some mysterious, annoying autoimmune thing that no one seems to be able to identify.



It’s glorious and frustrating and wonderful and tedious and exhausting and amazing and sucky all rolled into one, isn’t it?

As it should be, I suppose.

So, I’m looking at the bright side.  And making plans.  And starting over.


And maybe, when one of my on-sabbatical bloggy friends comes back to Blogland in another 18 months, they’ll think, ‘Wow! Diane’s had a big, happy, eventful year!

Just so that event isn’t a baby.
Just sayin’.


Anne said...

What? You're NOT pregnant?

When you get that box from me in the mail, would you just mark it "return to sender" for me?

Anonymous said...

Keep the chin up and as you deal with the doldrum of earning a living in this occasionally tedious and monotonous world, keep in mind that we work to live not live to work. The saying is that the best things in life are a tree in a park and walks with your "boy" and daughter, and maybe a free concert in the park or a random letter in the mail from a friend. Lately, the different wildlife in my yard and the wildflowers in my neighborhood are the most pristine enjoyment of my week. I cut and deliver a fresh batch of the flowers each week to my mom and take lots of pictures of as many different kinds as I can find...and the lizards and different birds (and that one big turtle that keeps showing up in my yard, are just awesome to watch when I am reading or writing on the patio. Take care and take time to just be.


rosaria williams said...

Oh my!
Hope things work out for you.

dianne said...

Diane dear, sorry to read about that awful job, yes, I have been there too, it takes lot out of us both physically and mentally but we tend to stick with it just to survive...I reached a stage where I was just plain worn out.
My life is a lot better now, I have learned not to expect too much (which is sad) but that is my way of coping with disappointment...I am alone but not unhappy...I just ramble along taking each day as it comes.
Anyway, I hope this year is kinder to you as you 'start over' again and your physical good health will return.
Take care!
xoxoxo ♡

Amanda said...

I'm glad you're back to the blog. I've missed reading your stuff :)

Zuzana said...

My dear, I guess I am one of the wedding events.;) But you know, I had my share of shit while you were gone, pardon my french. We all have ups and downs and to me, you have a lot going for you.;) Like that amazing wonderful daughters of yours;) What I would not give to have a child.;) Everything is relative, to me your life is perfect.;)) So enjoy it my friend and I know you do.;))

Pauline said...

Delighted to see you back and pleased that despite the downs, you haven't lost your sense of humor or your sense of timing. Sometimes we dance, sometimes we sit out, sometimes we get detoured on the way to the dance, sometimes we don't have our rhythm but everything changes, passes, comes 'round again. Welcome back to the dance :)

Debbie said...

so glad you are back!! I think you are amazing!!!:)!!

Mama Kat said...

You're back! I had a little TEENY taste of life in the office and one of the first things I noticed was how it killed my creativity. I didn't care to open my computer after staring at it all day at work and I had nothing new to share with the world. I'm glad you gave it the old heave ho. Our lives aren't long enough to spend so much of them trapped in jobs we hate. Welcome back!

Sometimes Sophia said...

"Glorious and frustrating and wonderful and tedious and exhausting and amazing and sucky all rolled into one..."

I hear you, my friend. Nothing sucks like a hateful job. Glad you're back from the brink.

SSP said...

i rarely read many blogs any more...and never write on my own, but i decided to click through all my favorites today...and I was very glad to see you :-) I may try to drag up life is also "meh." There are plenty of MEH blogs, though....sigh.

Jenners said...

I occasionally check up on those who have gone missing … like I thought Sometimes Sophia had checked out permanently! I didn't know she was back in blogging land. I shall have to look her up again!!!