I would hang a whimsical little sign in the front garden, declaring the cottage's name Wit's End. That way, when people visited, they could say they were at Wit's End with Diane. And since the cottage is by the sea, we would be at Wit's End at land's end... and everyone would smile at the play on words.
I would paint the front door yellow, so everyone would know they were entering a happy, sunshiny place... and I'd plant peonies and Gerber daisies and yellow sunflowers along the stone path to the door, to greet all my guests with smiles straight from the Earth.
If I lived here, you could come visit... for a week... or a month... or a year. You'd be welcome, always, and for as long as you wanted to stay.
When you visit, we could sleep late, under cozy duvets (because even in summer, the sea breeze is quite cool). In the mornings, we'd have steaming mugs of tea at the kitchen table by the window overlooking the blue water, and bowls of fresh berries and clotted cream for breakfast.
On warm, sunny days, we would sit outside and listen to the sea... and the sea would listen to us, as we talk and talk to catch up on all we've missed in each other's lives.
And when the sun is settling a bit closer to the horizon, we could walk on the beach with the dog... and we could look for seashells while he chases gulls.
On rainy days, we could sit inside, by the fire, and read. You could lose yourself in stories of pirates and time travel and brave heroes who lived before... and I'll fall into a mystery set in a rainy North Sea village or in a story told in beautifully-written letters between lovers.
In the early evenings, we could stroll to the village, and stop by the pub for a pint or two. We'd have to stop to chat to the owner of the local cheese shop, of course, as he's a lovely man and always keeps a bit of Halloumi aside for me.
And at night, when all is quiet except for the sound of the waves lapping the shore and the fire crackling in the hearth, you could write letters home, telling everyone what a glorious time you're having... and I'll write in my journal about how I hope you'll stay for a long, long time.
If I lived here...