I am... known in certain circles as Princess Apostrophe. It might be my favorite nickname.
I’m not... known for my math skills. Mainly because I haven’t got any.
I will... laugh hysterically if you fall. Even if you’re hurt. I will also feel bad about it… but I’ll still do it.
I won’t... buy an automatic car until I’m really old and my knees stop working.
I have... and wear regularly, a Virginia Tech sweatshirt I got in 1995.
I haven’t... ever found a sweatshirt I like better than that one.
I should... probably go shopping more often.
I shouldn’t... ask the Jehovah’s Witnesses who knock on my door to come back later, because I’m in the middle of my weekly sacrifice to Beelzebub. I shouldn’t. But I do.
I can... recite the names of all 50 states. In alphabetical order. When I’m drunk. And sober. Just sayin’.
I can’t... poop at work. Ever. Not in the history of Ever. So that nasty smell? Yeah. It wasn’t me.
I do... use punctuation and capital letters when I text. Because I’m Princess Apostrophe, that’s why.
I don’t... judge people who get to, two, and too mixed up. Or you’re and your. Or their, they’re, and there. Or then and than. OK, that’s a lie. I totally judge. But I don’t like myself when I do it.
I once... ate a chocolate-covered cricket. On a dare. There might have been alcohol involved.
I never... watched Pinocchio again because seeing Jiminy Cricket made me feel guilty.
I love... Gerard Butler. Or, as I like to call him, ‘Ryan’s New Daddy.’
I hate... the fact that it’s entirely unlikely that I will ever marry Gerard Butler. Unlikely... but not impossible, people.
I believe... I might need a therapist.
I don’t believe... I’ve ever met anyone who didn’t need a therapist at some point or another… so I’m in good company.
I wish... on stars and at wishing wells. Every single time. And if I’m at a wishing well? I throw in a quarter instead of a penny, because I figure it gives my wish 25x more power.