I am... known in certain circles as Princess
Apostrophe. It might be my favorite nickname.
I’m not... known for my math skills.
Mainly because I haven’t got any.
I will... laugh hysterically if you
fall. Even if you’re hurt. I will also feel bad about it… but I’ll still do it.
I won’t... buy an automatic car until I’m
really old and my knees stop working.
I have... and wear regularly, a Virginia
Tech sweatshirt I got in 1995.
I haven’t... ever found a sweatshirt I
like better than that one.
I should... probably go shopping more
often.
I shouldn’t... ask the Jehovah’s Witnesses
who knock on my door to come back later, because I’m in the middle of my weekly
sacrifice to Beelzebub. I shouldn’t. But I do.
I can... recite the names of all 50
states. In alphabetical order. When I’m drunk. And sober. Just sayin’.
I can’t... poop at work. Ever. Not in the
history of Ever. So that nasty smell? Yeah. It wasn’t me.
I do... use punctuation and capital letters
when I text. Because I’m Princess Apostrophe, that’s why.
I don’t... judge people who get to, two,
and too mixed up. Or you’re and your. Or their, they’re, and there. Or then and than. OK, that’s
a lie. I totally judge. But I don’t like myself when I do it.
I once... ate a chocolate-covered cricket. On a dare. There might have been alcohol involved.
I never... watched Pinocchio again because seeing Jiminy Cricket made me feel guilty.
I love... Gerard Butler. Or, as I like
to call him, ‘Ryan’s New Daddy.’
I hate... the fact that it’s entirely
unlikely that I will ever marry Gerard Butler. Unlikely... but not impossible, people.
I believe... I might need a therapist.
I don’t believe... I’ve ever met anyone
who didn’t need a therapist at some point or another… so I’m in good company.
And finally…
I wish... on stars and at wishing wells.
Every single time. And if I’m at a wishing well? I throw in a quarter instead
of a penny, because I figure it gives my wish 25x more power.
True story.
5 comments:
I love this. You make me feel SO not alone in the universe.
I love all of your 'truths', some are very sweet like wishing on the stars, I do too.
I have noticed that in American writing the word 'then' is often substituted for the conjunction 'than', any idea why? :)
xoxoxo ♡
The quarter in the wishing well sounds like a pretty sound theory to me.
Diane, you need to look at this product, poop pourri, because girls don't poop!
http://www.poopourri.com/
You're simply the best! ( I was going to type "your" but Rachel would judge me...again today! :) You and my daughter could be sisters but then that means...I am a bit of a ....well, you know!
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