I've thought about changing the name of this blog for a long time. Diane's Addled Ramblings is not at all the name I would have chosen had I realized what this place, this project, this piece of me would become. But Blogger forced me to pick a name before I could do any actual writing, and because I only intended to jot down notes for friends and family in a centralized location, I didn't think too hard about what to call it. Truth be told, I've never liked the name (even if it has been appropriate a lot of the time).
So, as I say, I've toyed, several times, with changing my rambling title to something else -- something more sophisticated or witty or charming. But over time, I developed a nice little following and I didn't want to lose anyone. I'm also not the most tech-savvy person in the world and I wasn't sure how to jump from one URL to another without causing confusion or a big mess. And I didn't want to make searching difficult.
Also? I simply didn't know what to change the name to (though I considered 'The Dangling Preposition').
After a while, as seems to happen to many people who camp out for any length of time in Bloggy Land, I changed my focus to other things (Facebook mainly) and moved away from my ramblings. Oh, I still rambled (make no mistake)... I just did it elsewhere. And many of my bloggy friends joined me in FB Land, which has been ever so nice.
But every now and then, I'd come back here. I'd jot a few words down and leave again. Every so often, I'd check my feed to see if anyone was still visiting. Strangely enough, several people came consistently, even when I wasn't writing at all. I'd recognize familiar city and country names in Feedjit and it gave me great comfort (and validation) to know that a few people were still looking at and for my words.
So I came back.
And here I am. Writing again. Hoping people are still reading. But doing it for me instead of for comments or followers (though comments and followers are mighty nice!). Doing it to regain a piece of myself I seem to have lost. Doing it to improve my skill and craft. Looking for some sense of purpose.
Looking for some clarity.
And still not liking the name, Diane's Addled Ramblings (even if it's still appropriate a lot of the time).
I brainstormed for a few hours the other day and came up with several potential new names... none of which felt right. I played around with my header, plugging in possibilities... none of which felt right. I was all set to just give up and resign myself to rambling addled for the foreseeable future, when it hit me...
I'm rambling, yes. Still. Maybe always. But I'm rambling with purpose. I'm rambling, not just to ramble, but to get to something, however indirect the route. I ramble, yes. I start at Point A and then I get sidetracked and sidelined and more than a little lost at times, but I'm still moving toward Point B (even if I go by way of Points C, D, R, and Y along the way). And my Point B?
I'm rambling toward clarity -- clarity in my thinking, in my life, in my heart, and in my soul. I want to be understood... I want to understand... I want to be clear and to see clearly. I want to live Life in a brilliant, bright, lucid, sharp, clear way.
I'm Rambling Toward Clarity. And I figure if I ramble long enough, I'll get there.
So there you have it. I'm still rambling. And I'm still easy to find. I'm definitely still addled, much of the time.
I'm still me. Always.
Would you like to ramble on with me? I'd love to have you come along...