This afternoon, I took Ryan and one of her friends for ice cream. I'll call this friend 'Crazy Girl' because, well, that's what I call her. She's the kid who always seems hyped up on sugar (even when she's sleeping)... she blurts out whatever's on her mind (no internal censor whatsoever)... she doesn't care if anyone thinks she's weird or off the wall. She's a wild child. I like her.
Crazy Girl likes to make up hypothetical situations and ask me what I'd do in them. Once she asked me if she and Ryan were drowning and I could only save one of them, who would I save? Then she told me if I let her drown, her dad would kick my butt. I'm assuming she does this to everyone...
Today, marriage and money were on her mind... and because I don't ever like to make things easy for her, this is the conversation we had over X-treme Chocolate cones...
CG: If you could pick between marrying a rich man and marrying a poor man, which would it be?
Me: Easy. I’d pick the one I loved.
CG: You love them both the same.
Me: Hmmm… then I’d pick the one who loved me the most.
CG: They both love you exactly the same.
Me: Seriously?! Man, I want to live in Crazy Girl World!
CG (tapping finger on table impatiently): …
Me: OK, well then, I’d pick the kindest.
CG: They’re both kind, OK?
Me: The funniest, then.
CG: They’re both hilarious.
Me: Wow! Where did you find two guys like that in Pigsknuckle?!
CG (rolling eyes) …
Me: OK, then, the smartest.
CG: Both brilliant.
Me: The most creative.
CG: The most creative?! You’re weird.
Me: Am not. Pffffttt.
CG: Grrrrr… they’re both super-duper, incredibly creative.
Me: OK. The cutest?
CG: Identical twins! They’re exactly the same except one is rich is one is poor.
Me: Then I’d pick the one who’s nicest to his mother.
CG (rolling eyes again): Oh, come on! They both love their mother the same.
Me: Hmmm… then I’d lock them both in a room with Ryan for a couple of hours and choose the one whose ears didn’t bleed.
Ry: Heeeeeey!
CG (exasperated now): Let me repeat… they are exactly the same except one is rich and one is poor!
Me: You know that’s impossible, right?
CG: It’s my game. My rules. Duh. Now pick!
Me: OK. Neither.
CG: No, you have to pick one.
Me: Nope. I wouldn’t pick either.
CG: You’d just leave both of them out in the cold?!
Me: Yup.
CG: Why?
Me: Well, I love them exactly the same, right?
CG: Yeah…
Me: Then I’d rather hurt both of them and leave them knowing I did it because I loved each of them too much to choose.
CG (staring at me blankly): …
Me: Make sense?
CG (shaking her head): Man, you really suck at this marriage game.
Me (sighing): Yeah. Tell me about it.
28 comments:
I'm giggling all the way through this one. I love the way you handled her.
You should turn the tables on her and ask her some crazy question.
Of course it wouldn't be as fun.
She'd day, "The rich one!!!"
Game over.
Hilarious! And boy, are you quick on the draw! I like that!
Crazy girl would drive me crazy! She has already given me an eye twitch after reading that. LOL!
BTW! Thanks for always being the first to read and comment on my blog! We need to meet! I see so many others bloggers doing it...we need to PLAN!
Haha! That one had me giggling.
I was totally that hypothetical child. Still am. And I LOVE that you didn't satisfy her with an answer. It's killing her.
Diane, that is great. But c'mon, who are you kidding. You'd take the rich guy, just like anyone would.
Thanks for the laughs!
I think your CG might actually BE my daughter. Seriously. My kid asks me all of these crazy questions all. the. time.
This was pretty good, Diane.
I love the way you screwed with her head. I'd totally do that!
:)
Fabulous dialogue.
Loved CG's finger tapping.
[tap tap tap]
One crazy little girl world.
I know you like to tease (LORDY do I know!), but damn, woman...all things being equal, pick the rich guy!
Well, except for then when I asked if he had a brother, I would be getting the poor one.
You really made her work hard at that one...you should have chosen both of them. ♡
I bet you would too!
LOL Diane! This was so funny! "You really suck at this marriage game" is still making me laugh.Don't we all? This kid must be very amusing to be around, I am actually quiet impressed with how her mind works.;)
And btw, I liked your answer.;))
I love crazy girl!!!
I am crazy girl!!!
You've got me laughing all over the place with your last two posts, Diane. I love coming here to visit. You make my day!
Oh, that's priceless. Crazy Girl sounds funny. And it seems you like provoking her. :)
Oh my gosh, so classic! Just perfect.
Wonderful answer!! Thanks for the morning giggle.
OK, the poor one.
Of course, I'de have to be living in Iowa, Vermont, or New Hampshire.
And, of course, I'de have to be gay.
HA!
Rich folks tend to think they can buy life with their money, and that isn't quite right. (at least, the rich people I know)
Poor people get along with what they have, but dream bigger!
hahahahahahaha! I LOVED that. I used to do that to my girl scout leader all the time. I think you have a mini version of me from 12 years ago! :-)
Next time, tell her that you're not attracted to men. (tee,hee)
I have one of those kids. They dont improve with age :)
I think CrazyGirl has met her match!
lol... Great response!
I think I would like Crazy Girl too!
Tough game... good answer with a twist of irony. I really enjoy your writing. You do it so well. (Have some catching up to do... but did read the sad story about the twins. What an absolutely scarring experience.)
You did great! I would have caved in five seconds.
Crazy girl is awesome!
OK, as close as I could get to 'humor'...the morel mushroom is my link to it.
(do folks from Virginia do morels, too?)
Maybe I'm just a tad bit mcdrunkerson over here in Minneapolis, but I kind of think that the world would be a smarter place if EVERYONE thought about marriage the way you just described. :)
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