This afternoon, I took Ryan and one of her friends for ice cream. I'll call this friend 'Crazy Girl' because, well, that's what I call her. She's the kid who always seems hyped up on sugar (even when she's sleeping)... she blurts out whatever's on her mind (no internal censor whatsoever)... she doesn't care if anyone thinks she's weird or off the wall. She's a wild child. I like her.
Crazy Girl likes to make up hypothetical situations and ask me what I'd do in them. Once she asked me if she and Ryan were drowning and I could only save one of them, who would I save? Then she told me if I let her drown, her dad would kick my butt. I'm assuming she does this to everyone...
Today, marriage and money were on her mind... and because I don't ever like to make things easy for her, this is the conversation we had over X-treme Chocolate cones...
CG: If you could pick between marrying a rich man and marrying a poor man, which would it be?
Me: Easy. I’d pick the one I loved.
CG: You love them both the same.
Me: Hmmm… then I’d pick the one who loved me the most.
CG: They both love you exactly the same.
Me: Seriously?! Man, I want to live in Crazy Girl World!
CG (tapping finger on table impatiently): …
Me: OK, well then, I’d pick the kindest.
CG: They’re both kind, OK?
Me: The funniest, then.
CG: They’re both hilarious.
Me: Wow! Where did you find two guys like that in Pigsknuckle?!
CG (rolling eyes) …
Me: OK, then, the smartest.
CG: Both brilliant.
Me: The most creative.
CG: The most creative?! You’re weird.
Me: Am not. Pffffttt.
CG: Grrrrr… they’re both super-duper, incredibly creative.
Me: OK. The cutest?
CG: Identical twins! They’re exactly the same except one is rich is one is poor.
Me: Then I’d pick the one who’s nicest to his mother.
CG (rolling eyes again): Oh, come on! They both love their mother the same.
Me: Hmmm… then I’d lock them both in a room with Ryan for a couple of hours and choose the one whose ears didn’t bleed.
CG (exasperated now): Let me repeat… they are exactly the same except one is rich and one is poor!
Me: You know that’s impossible, right?
CG: It’s my game. My rules. Duh. Now pick!
Me: OK. Neither.
CG: No, you have to pick one.
Me: Nope. I wouldn’t pick either.
CG: You’d just leave both of them out in the cold?!
Me: Well, I love them exactly the same, right?
Me: Then I’d rather hurt both of them and leave them knowing I did it because I loved each of them too much to choose.
CG (staring at me blankly): …
Me: Make sense?
CG (shaking her head): Man, you really suck at this marriage game.
Me (sighing): Yeah. Tell me about it.