Dear Former Reader...

Thank you ever so much for your rather lengthy email response to my ‘So Disappointed’ post. I’m terribly sorry that you were so disappointed in me for giving my opinion on the gay marriage issue… on my blog… where I write… what I think...

Anyway, yes, your email did indeed give me a headache. It wasn’t your disagreement that caused it, however. It was the position of ignorance, (perceived) moral superiority, and Christian extremism (not to mention poor grammar and spelling) from which you wrote that made me feel a little ill. And quoting Rush Limbaugh? Icing on the cake, my friend. That made me throw up a little in my mouth. I had to brush my teeth twice this morning.

I’m not foolish enough to think that reiterating my view about the issue will do any good, as you seem pretty firmly entrenched in your rather bigoted perspective, so I won’t bother. I will, however, address the more personal parts (and by ‘parts’, I mean ‘attacks’) of your email.

First, I am not a lesbian. Not even close. And had you truly been a “long-time reader” of my blog, you would know this. If you scroll down a bit, you’ll see a little banner on my sidebar that says, “Another straight person for marriage equality.” Straight is the key word there. You see, dear Former Reader, I love men. Love them. I love hanging out with them, being in relationships with them, having sex with them. True, I don’t get to do any of those things nearly as much as I’d like, but that’s life as a single mom. I deal.

Second, the reason I don’t need a man in my life isn’t because I’m a lesbian. It’s because my conservative, right-wing daddy taught me how to take care of myself… how to do the heavy lifting when another set of hands isn’t around. So while I might like to have a man in my life, it’s not a necessity. Again, that doesn’t make me a lesbian. Really.

Third, the reason I’m not a big fan of marriage isn’t because I’m a lesbian (are you sensing a pattern here?). It has to do with the fact that I don’t believe two people need a piece of paper to ratify their commitment to one another. I believe marriage is an institution of the church and/or the state. I don’t believe in the church and I have little respect for the state. However, I do realize that there are certain legal rights that come along with marriage and for that reason, I see why it can be a good thing (and why everyone who wants to do it should be able to). And I understand that many people do feel the need to honor their commitment in their churches or in front of the state. And that’s cool with me. I did it once. I might do it again. With a man. Who knows?

Fourth, the reason my marriage failed wasn’t because I’m a lesbian (sigh). It failed because my ex and I never learned to communicate effectively with each other. It ended because he gave up (oh yeah, and because he turned out to be a serial cheater).

Fifth, given my daughter’s infatuation with the Jonas Brothers, I seriously doubt she is gay. I really doubt she will “turn gay” when she’s a teenager or young adult either. You see, I’m not “giving her permission to be gay.” I’m giving her permission to be who she is. So if she happens to be gay, I will love her as much as I do now and I will want her to be happy and able to marry the person of her choice.

Sixth, being a single mother doesn’t make me a bad mother. In fact, I happen to be a pretty good mother and I have to tell you, the idea that you could read one of my posts about a social issue and determine otherwise makes me really want to kick you. I do not parade men (or women… since I’m not a lesbian and all) in front of my daughter. In five years, she has only met one man I’ve dated, and that was after 2 months (and I went out with him for a year) and she has never seen me in bed with anyone but her father (before we split, of course). I take my role as a mother very seriously and what my daughter is exposed to is of the utmost importance to me. So don’t you ever presume to know how I parent. EVER.

I think that covers all of your accusations and insults, dear Former Reader. To sum up, I do agree with you that there’s a lot wrong with America today… but I really don’t think I'm the problem. I do believe that people who spew propaganda, who incite and inspire hatred and fear, who try to impose their narrow personal beliefs and faith on the entire world, whose moral compasses are pointing permanently south… well… I think they are what’s wrong with America (and the world) today. But you know what? Though I’m deeply, deeply offended by those people, I’d defend their right to think and say whatever they choose… because that, dear Former Reader, is what America is supposed to be about.

Oh, and by the way… if there is a Hell, you’re right, I’m probably headed there. So do me a favor, will you? Could you and Mr. Limbaugh save me a seat? I'm guessing you're going to get the good ones! Thanks ever so much!

Love Always,

Diane