formerly Diane's Addled Ramblings... the ramblings are still addled, just like before, and the URL is still the same...
it's just the title at the top of the page that's new

Friday, December 3, 2010

Don't Rock the Boat, Baby...

This past week has been one of the most stressful I've experienced in a while. Truly. Financial issues (where "issues" = "crises of colossal proportions") have been on the front burner. My head was nearly inside the oven (had the oven been gas and not electric, it likely would have been!). A couple of big bills due, a few weeks before Christmas (whoo hoo), and everyone who was supposed to be paying me wasn't. From Saturday to Wednesday, I was sick to my stomach, trying to sort out an issue with the person I thought was going to be my new, wonderful, spectacular boss. As a friend of mine used to say, wrong again, buffalo-breath.

I did get paid. Eventually. After a lot of run-around, chasing down, and lying (I did the chasing down, not the running me around or lying... he did that). It was frustrating (where "frustrating" = "ready-to-go-postal"). I wanted to scream and kick someone in the shins. Or, you know, somewhere. But I couldn't say or do what I wanted because I needed the money and needed the work and I thought I had to salvage the relationship... I had to be professional and understanding... I couldn't rock the boat, baby.

Wrong again, buffalo-breath.

After the last lie was told, before the money was in my account, I had a bit of an epiphany. This little voice in my head said, "Diane, you are better than this. You deserve better than this. And you do NOT need this guy. You can get your own work."

And for the first time in a very long time? I actually heard that voice. And? I even believed it. Mostly. I didn't shoo it away or tell it to shut up and that it didn't know what it was talking about.

And that? Is huge.

So I set about getting a few things done -- things I've been putting off for reasons I don't even want to think about. And I got my business Facebook page up. And then I got my website up and running. And then I started networking and promoting my business and myself. And within 24 hours, I had a job. Not a big job, but a job. And I got the promise of more work to come.

I'm askeerd. I don't know what the future holds. But it can't be less or more difficult that what the past has held, that's for damned sure.

Oh? And I rocked the boat. In a (mostly) professional way, of course. I told that guy what I thought of the way he'd behaved. And? It felt pretty good!


Anonymous said...

What is it about December that brings on all this stress? Who needs it?! I'm so excited for your new business venue and wish you the very best in all of it! Take care and just breathe :) Oh and keep your head out of the damn oven!!

Everyday Goddess said...

This is so inspiring, good for you!! You really turned the energy around for yourself. Be well!

Rachel Cotterill said...

You GO girl! :)

hebba said...

I read a quote recently: "If you are this successful doing work you hate, what could you do with work you love?" Or, to paraphrase: "If you did this well working for a jerk, how well could you do working for yourself?"
Put all that effort into yourself and just imagine how great 2011 will be!

injaynesworld said...

Good for you, Diane. I so know what that knot in your stomach feels like. It sounds like you're finally on the right path. Sometimes, it takes a while to get the message.

Pauline said...

Sometimes we need that pitchfork in our gut to make us realize we're on the wrong path. Good for you for rediscovering your faith in yourself. Keep plugging away. Things have a way of working out eventually, even when we're askeered and jumping with both feet into our own future.

The Voice Inside Your Head said...

Dear Diane,

Thank you for finally listening to me. You are strong, courageous, and capable; I've known that all along.

Keep believing in yourself,

Sueann said...

Woot!! Woot!! Congrats Diane!! I am proud of you. I know that wasn't easy and you did good girl!!
And congrats on the new job. That had to feel like a million bucks!?

SSP said...

All the blogs I have read today are soulful, sad, introspective, most facing financial or emotional "issues" - it is "the end" of the year and I think it must bring out the worst for everyone...but damn, I am glad to hear your great news~~rock ON, girl!!

HLiza said...'re truly inspiring..always we get the courage when things are really desperate. Good luck dear, I know you will do well..I wish I can have a little courage from this too..

PS: Thanks to the bad guy, you're now starting a new adventure!

Anonymous said...

Whoop whoop!! You go, girl! :)

I'm so glad that you took up for yourself and realized that you are worth far more than what this guy was giving. Congrats on getting the ball rolling with a job -- I know big things are in store for you!!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Diane, you are very brave and I am very proud of you! No need to be askeered, you are inspirational xxx

Stu Pidasso said...

Kicking shins and taking names.

You go girfriend!